


The Bet

by orphan_account, sidewinder



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Background Case, Background Tuckson, Cardds, Domestic Fluff, Established Relationship, F/M, Family Feels, Flirting, John and Fin are total yentas, M/M, New Relationship, Romance, canon typical mentions of rape and transphobia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-01
Updated: 2016-04-06
Packaged: 2018-05-30 12:49:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 25,212
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6424789
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account, https://archiveofourown.org/users/sidewinder/pseuds/sidewinder
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John and Fin place a bet over the romantic intentions of one of their coworkers. Meanwhile several cases keep everyone at the 16th busy, and Ken and Alejandro have big news.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This story came about as a response to a particular [behind-the-scenes-photo of some of the SVU cast](http://hawkland.tumblr.com/post/139868690888/ladyzootie-hawkland-ladyzootie) and a resulting humorous discussion about it. We hope you find it as fun to read as it was to write! Virtually everyone in the current series makes an appearance at some point, although it is primarily about Mike & Sonny, and John & Fin. 
> 
> The setting is loosely the early months of 2016 but this fic does not necessarily follow all current series' cases and developments. The story is completed and will be posted as chapters go through final edits.
> 
> Characters are property of NBC/Dick Wolf. This story was written purely for fun and not for profit.

“Sorry I’m running late.”

Fin slid into their regular booth at the diner. Outside a winter rain had the city under a chilly cloud of grey, but here inside the bustle of the lunch crowd and the busy kitchen kept away the cold. The good company didn’t hurt, either. “And I’ll probably need to leave early.”

“One of those days?” John asked. 

“One of those _weeks_ , and it’s barely started.” 

“No worries. I put in your order for you after you texted you were on your way.”

“Thanks. Tuesday lunch special?”

“Tuesday lunch special,” John confirmed and Fin smiled. Over the course of sixteen years together, John had learned that Fin was nothing if not predictable. 

Their standing lunch date had begun not long after John’s retirement, once he’d settled in a new routine the DA’s office. Busy schedules didn’t always permit them the time, but they appreciated catching even thirty minutes together in the afternoon like this, the chance to actually see each other during daylight hours again. Fin often had to work late into the evening (as John knew quite well himself from his past years at SVU), so even their time together at home felt limited these days, save weekends off as work allowed. 

But that was the life they had chosen, many years ago, and it was the life they both understood. That was in part what made their relationship work so well off the job as when they’d been partners on the force. John would always rather be too busy than bored, and Fin was determined to stay at SVU until he reached mandatory retirement. And when _that_ finally came around, well...they had plenty of time yet to figure out what to do next. 

Maybe someday John could finally convince Fin to go in on buying a bar. He missed those old days at the Waterfront, even if the damn place had often seemed like nothing more than a never-ending money pit.

“Hey hon, how are you today?” Their regular waitress appeared with a clean white mug for Fin, a handful of creamer cups and a full pot of coffee. She topped off John’s cup while pouring Fin his first. 

“I’m good, Jeannie,” Fin answered. “You?”

“On my feet and working, so I can’t complain. Your food’ll be right out.”

“Thank you.” Fin started dumping creamer into his coffee and casually said to John, “By the way, you owe me fifty bucks.”

“Excuse me?”

“Forgot to mention it this morning, and you were already asleep last night when I got home. Remember that bet we made a few weeks ago about ’Liv’s mystery man? I won.”

John nearly choked on _his_ coffee. “You’re shitting me. She’s sneaking around with _Ed_ Fucking _Tucker_?” 

“I told you I had a hunch before, and you wouldn’t believe me.”

“I still don’t. Where’s your proof?”

“Proof?”

John sat back and crossed his arms. “I’m not giving up my hard-earned cash without evidence, given you’re not exactly an unbiased witness.”

Fin sighed, looking exasperated. “Fine. Last night I’m at my desk late, cleaning up paperwork so Rollins could get home to Jesse, right?”

“Right...”

“I head over to the break room to warm up some leftovers from lunch for dinner, and who do I see walkin’ in the squadroom, knocking on ’Liv’s door? None other than Ed Tucker.” Fin paused for a sip of his coffee. “I think she must’ve figured I went home, and he never saw me there. I go back to my desk, get to my case files, figure they got their own business to deal with in there. Only it ain’t sounding too business-like, if you get what I’m saying.”

“Perhaps more like _frisky_ business? In the lieutenant’s office?” John tsked. “Scandalous.”

“They wouldn’t be the first ones up to no good in that office,” Fin said with a twinkle in his eye. 

“True,” John agreed, fondly remembering late night rendezvous of their own, after-hours when the captain was gone for the night—or during times John had been temporarily placed in charge in Cragen’s absence. “Even so, I’m having a difficult time picturing a hard-ass like Tucker taking chances in that way.”

“Maybe ’Liv’s been good at loosening him up a bit. All I know is when they both came out of that office maybe forty minutes later? ’Liv turned all shades of red seeing I was still there and Tucker looked like he was going to have a stroke. But I played it cool. And you owe me half a yard.”

“Damn,” John shook his head, still having a hard time picturing Olivia Benson, his longtime friend and co-worker, with Ed Tucker from IAB. Then again, he and Fin hadn’t exactly been the most obvious couple to come out of the 16th themselves, and understanding women and their peculiar desires had clearly never been John’s strong suit. “Well, as long as she’s happy then I’m happy for her. She deserves it.”

“I hear you on that.”

“All right, we’ve got a turkey club, hold the mayo,” Jeannie placed one plate in front of John, “and a chicken pot pie special. Careful, the plate’s hot.”

“Thank you,” they both told her, and for a few minutes conversation halted as they attacked their lunches. 

Even so, John couldn’t hold his tongue for very long. “I’m still shocked. I could have sworn ’Liv and Barba...well, whatever. So what other juicy gossip from the one-six can you entertain me with today? Any other love matches in the air?” Office gossip was far more entertaining and pleasant to talk about than the latest rapist, murderer or pedophile case Fin had caught, and John wasn’t about to bore Fin with the ongoing legal shenanigans happening at the DA’s. 

“Been pretty quiet. Carisi’s been busy prepping for the bar exam. Rollins is still tryin’ to get into the rhythm of things now that she’s got a baby to handle. Guess we’re all finally getting used to Dodds being around, too. He’s not as green as I had him pegged for when he first came on board.”

“He’s a sergeant, he damn well better not be. Even if his daddy dearest greased the wheels to push him up the ranks.” Anti-Crime didn’t exactly prepare one for the lingering, disturbing nature of Special Victims. Hell, not even Homicide had quite prepared John for that himself.

“Not sure about that anymore. He’s been pushing back against his dad, growing a pair of his own, finally.” Fin took another mouthful of pot pie, swallowed, and continued, “Actually had an interesting conversation with him the other day. Since you’re all curious about everybody’s personal business. We were canvassing ’round Chinatown and he asked, all casual, out of nowhere, about how you and I hooked up.”

“Did you give him the sanitized version, or the full details of what happened when two stressed out and inebriated detectives nursing repressed desires shared a room together in Canada while awaiting an extradition hearing?”

“I told him things fell into place when the time was right.”

“More like you fell into my bed and tried to make like it was an accident.”

“Didn’t hear you complaining.”

“Not until I had to deal with seven hours of your driving the next day with you hangover sick.” _But it was worth it,_ John thought with a fond smile of remembrance.

“Anyway...got the impression he’s interested in someone but he’s not sure if it would be cool to make a move. Like if he’s reading things right, how to handle the situation at work.”

“Really. And who are you thinking might be the object of his amorous intentions...Maybe Barba? Or Carisi?” John wracked his brain trying to think of who else it could be, if Dodds Junior seemed to have eyes for someone of the male persuasion with whom he regularly worked.

“My money’s on Carisi,” Fin stated confidently. John wasn’t sure he could picture that.

“Are you proposing another wager? Double or nothing?”

“Why, you think it’s Barba?”

“Unless Barba has something going with Carisi...all that time they've spent together working on cases lately.” That thought left John pondering.

“Few minutes ago you were sayin’ you thought Barba and ’Liv were an item.”

“I don’t know a single person of _any_ sexual orientation who isn’t at least a touch infatuated with our charismatic and fashionable ADA.” John picked up another quarter of his sandwich and added, “Present company excluded, of course. You know I only have eyes for you, my dear.”

Fin gave John a _yeah, right_ expression and checked the time on his phone. “Need to leave already?” John asked.

“In about ten. Got a witness supposed to come in for an interview at two.”

They finished their meals off without further discussion of everyone else’s love lives, although upon leaving the diner Fin said, “Double or nothing, you’re on with that bet. Only ’cause you are guaranteed to lose, as usual.”

“Hah! We shall have to see about that.” The rain had lightened up a bit but the weather still was unconducive for lingering too long outside. John gave Fin a quick kiss and said, “See you tonight—and no scheming on how to manipulate the situation to win our bet! And I still want hard evidence on Tucker and ’Liv before I’ll believe you.”

“Pain in my ass.”

“Love you, too.”

 


	2. Chapter 2

Raindrops pelted the precinct windows as Mike worked through another lunch this week. With the amount of paperwork duplicating from every new case they were hit with, lunch breaks became a luxury instead of a legal right. Mike glanced over at Carisi, who was tapping his foot as he skimmed over a website ran by one of their many victims.

Carisi popped his head up and looked at Dodds and smiled. It was the same smile that the detective gave every person he locked eyes with. Mike smiled back and got out of his seat, walking over to Carisi's desk. Ever since the Ryan brothers case a few months back, he found himself drawn to the younger detective in a way he couldn’t internally decipher.

“Any new leads?” he inquired as he saw the younger man shake his head.

“No, nothin'. I can't get this, why create a blog post about your trauma and then snatch it down within the hour? Who does that?”

“I don't know, but it screams that she has something to hide—sorry, he has something to hide.” Mike's face flustered as Carisi's blue eyes looked up at him with understanding.

“You'll get used to the pronouns soon enough, it becomes more natural over time. I know how you feel, having a victim have this happen to them, and then outing themselves as transgender...I know you're trying your best with it, sarge.”

Mike tapped his hands on Carisi's desk out of nerves, “Thanks, with anti-crime, not a whole lot of social issues came into play, it was very dry and cut, with SVU, saying it's complicated is the largest understatement I could make. Thanks Carisi.”

“No prob sarge...so, did you and Fin get anythin' from the victim when you went to talk to him again?”

“Nothing. He wasn't up to talking to us and Fin didn't want to push him.” The matter of fact statement of his time with Fin hung between them with an impersonal air and Mike wanted to kick himself for not being more personable like his father was. His father could charm anyone, doubly so if it meant saving his own ass.

“Good call on Fin's part, he can tell when someone has had enough. So, since I can't find anything else and you look like you're starvin' how about we grab something to eat?”

“I should stay here, work the case some more, I don't want to take away from time that should be spent finding the perp, it wouldn't look to professional to the Lieutenant.”

Carisi let out a small laugh, “Mike, she knows we need to eat, she's on her lunch break right now, she's not as uptight as your last boss, I promise.” The slender detective’s eyes glanced at the sergeant as he crossed his arms over his own chest.

“I guess, if you say so, where to?”

Carisi's eyes lit up like it was Christmas eve, “I know this one place, little hole in the wall, real nice atmosphere, you're gonna love it. C'mon, grab your coat.” he said as he flung his winter pea coat around his frame as Mike made himself not gaze at Carisi’s slim build. There was no need for him to drool over him in front of everyone else, doing it later, alone in his apartment was as good as it was going to get for him.

“Alright, just a short lunch, it'll be brief and I do need to eat something other than a doughnut.” Mike confessed as he grabbed his jacket and suited up. Carisi grabbed an umbrella, the largest one he could find and tucked it under his arm.

“We'll share, no biggie, right?” Carisi asked as Mike stopped in his tracks.

The blush on Mike's face was building, becoming more red with each passing moment as he felt like all eyes were on him.

“No, not at all.” Mike replied to Carisi, whose face lit up with a smile again.

“Alright, c'mon, we're two grown men sharing an umbrella, no big deal.” Carisi waved off Mike's reservations with his hand and they both left the precinct.

-*-

Mike tried his hardest to not loose his cool with their current physical proximity he had with Carisi. He had never stood this close to someone he was contemplating to ask out, and the umbrella was not nearly as large as Carisi had sold it to him being. Bits of rain were getting into his hair, but with his new haircut, it wasn't an issue at all. Simply being next to Carisi satisfied him without giving away his real feelings for him.

Both men made their way to the diner and were surprised to see Fin leaving with an older looking man and then taking a small kiss from him.

“Who's the older guy with Fin?” Mike asked Carisi as they kept walking, while hearing Fin say, “Pain in my ass” to the mystery man.

“Is that...is that Munch?!” Carisi exclaimed in a loud whisper to him, “We just don't hear anything about Fin datin' anyone, but holy cow...Munch is a catch...” he tacked on as Mike felt himself blushing again.

_Would he ever think that I'm a catch?_ Mike thought as he held the door open for Carisi, who smiled at him.

“Look at you, being the perfect gentleman, how are you still single?” Carisi's question felt bold, almost like a violation, but Mike rolled it off his shoulders. He didn't even know where he could begin to answer that question. Heck, the very question felt ridiculous, he couldn't date because he didn't know who he wanted to date until a few months ago.

_I want to date you, Sonny, but I can't since everyone thinks I'm some raging alpha dog..._ Mike answered Carisi, who was looking at him since Mike was still holding the door open.

“You uh, gonna join me there sarge?” Carisi teased him.

“Just making sure everyone got in.” Mike joked back as an elderly woman made eyes at him and looked at Carisi.

“You two kids are cute together.” she got out with a wavy voice.

Mike knew he was beet red in the face, but thankfully, Carisi just started laughing at the comment, and indirectly, at the idea of ever dating him. He wasn't sure which stung worse.

“No ma'am, I am not this guy's type, I'm too willowy for Clark Kent over there.” Carisi replied to the woman as he winked at Mike, who felt his heart beat faster as his mind processed the playful gesture.

“Well...you gays can't be too picky you know...” the woman's serious tone smacked the happy go lucky nature of the moment and she slowly waddled her way to the other end of the diner.

“Did we just get accosted by an elderly woman who can barely walk?” Carisi shot at Mike, taking in that he wasn't too happy with the comment either.

“I would like to remind you that you wanted to break for lunch, so I'm blaming **_you_**.” Mike answered. He felt like he was obviously flirting with Carisi but the detective didn’t return the flirting, causing Mike to second doubt himself. His mind mulled it over as his body followed Carisi and they took a nearby booth.

“How are you two doing today?” their waitress asked as her nimble arms flipped over their coffee mugs and began to fill them. Mike saw that her name tag said Jeannie, and noticed Carisi made the same mental note.

“We're good, and you Jeannie? You know that last couple that walked out of here a few moments ago, how long they've been datin'? My sarge here is dying to know.” Carisi said as Mike watched him flash his blue eyes at her and noted that Carisi could flirt with a brick wall and get results.

“Oh, goodness, Munch and Fin have been goin' strong for years, always make some time for each other...even though they bicker like my in-laws.” Jeannie answered as she took out her notebook and jotted down their orders.

“I'll...have the Tuesday special.” Mike forced himself order something, even though his stomach was suddenly hit with a bit of a temperamental streak.

“Same here, thanks Jeannie!” Carisi chimed as she smiled at him and walked back to the kitchen to place their orders.

“You could flirt with a brick wall and get results.” Mike joked as Carisi looked at him.

“Maybe, maybe not, but uh, that your way of complimenting me or what?” Carisi joked back as he took a sip of his coffee.

“Maybe it is. So, I'm Clark Kent then?” Mike bravely pressed Carisi, who he swore was starting to get a bit rosy in the cheeks.

“C'mon Mike, I was joking...Clark Kent is hotter.” Carisi's voice wavered a bit as he replied and Mike saw him fidget with his hands.

_Is there something here, between us...I mean, Fin said that him and Munch fell together when it was right, is my right with him right now?_ Mike thought as Carisi locked eyes with him.

“I was joking, you're more attractive than Clark Kent, but you don't go for my team anyways, so what's the point of even-” Carisi got out before Mike butted in.

“-I didn't realize that it was obvious which team I was batting for-” Mike stammered out as his phone rang, “Sgt Dodds, Manhattan SVU. Yes. Yes we'll be right back.” He ended the call and looked at Carisi, “We've gotta get back to the precinct, something happened to our victim.”

“Let's go.” Carisi answered as both men left a tip for Jeanette and headed back to the station.

 


	3. Chapter 3

John didn’t immediately return to the DA’s office that afternoon, instead taking the 6 train from the subway station near the diner to the Upper East Side. He needed to re-interview a rape victim before her upcoming trial appearance, make sure she was ready for the questions she’d have to answer on the stand from both the prosecution and, expectedly, the defense attorney. So many months—sometimes years—could pass before a case went to trial that it was important to make sure witnesses had their stories straight, as clear and confident as when an incident first occurred. Or they might have even remembered fresh details with time, things which could be helpful to their case about which the prosecution needed to know.

He’d spent the morning reviewing the woman’s initial statement, the case evidence, and the notes Barba had prepared for trial. John’s detail-oriented mind was well-suited for this kind of work, picking up minor inconsistencies or points that might otherwise be overlooked. He’d also been told, and had noticed through the years, that he seemed to have a knack for getting victims to feel comfortable talking about their traumas. It could be emotionally draining, opening up his own vulnerabilities enough to entreat another to reveal his or her pain to him, but if it helped justice be served in a case like this, then he would accept and use that gift for the good of others.

And in his position now at the DA’s office—detached from the immediacy of these crimes, not staring over dead bodies but dealing with the paperwork and legalities after the fact—it was a little less trying on the soul.

The interview went well. Two hours later and John was back downtown at the DA’s office, heading to find ADA Barba before leaving for the day. “Counselor,” he greeted Rafael after knocking on his open door. “Catch you at a good time?”

“Not a bad one, so please, come in.”

“Just wanted to let you know I spent the afternoon with Angela Whitlock,” John began, sitting down in a comfortable leather chair that was a pleasant relief after the hard subway seats. “And she seems ready for court next week. Her story is solid and still in line with her initial report. When I pressed her with some of the questions about her background and past relationships, she didn’t get flustered, even when I told her to expect the worst—especially with Zeirko for the defense.”

“Good, I’ll talk to her myself before the end of this week. This office could use one in the win column after recent events.”

“I missed some real fun and games while on vacation, apparently.”

“Oh, you don’t know the half of it,” Barba sighed, “and I’d like to forget the other half as quickly as possible.”

“I’ve picked up bits and pieces through the grapevine here, and from Fin getting an earful from his own partner and superiors at SVU.”

“Your former colleagues there have not been making my life particularly easy of late.”

“My presence is surely missed. Ah, but tell me, what do you think of my successor, the new sergeant there...Mike Dodds?” John asked, trying to play it ever so cool.

“The chief’s son? I suppose he’s tolerable. More so than his father, most of the time.”

“Cuter, too,” John said with a suggestive wink. He’d seen photos, thanks to Fin and Amanda, and caught glimpses of the tall, dark-haired sergeant on a few occasions. “I hear he’s beginning to settle in pretty well. Starting to like the job...and his colleagues...quite a bit.”

“Well, that’s always good to hear.” Rafael didn’t seem particularly interested, which could be bad news for Dodds if he had a crush on the ADA. Bad news for John, too, if he had a bet on Barba being the object of Dodds’ infatuation and the affection was only one-sided. Before he pushed any further on that subject, John thought he should suss out if perhaps the ADA had something going with Carisi instead. He’d certainly noticed the junior detective hanging around One Hogan Place an awful lot these past few months, even if they hadn’t been formally introduced yet.

“Speaking of SVU colleagues, where’s your eager shadow been lately? Haven’t seen him lurking around as much as usual.”

“Carisi? He’s actually been doing his own job for a change instead of pestering me at mine.” There was a hint of smile threatening to escape at those words if Rafael allowed it, but he didn’t. Still, the interest seemed more possible. “And waiting to hear back on his first try at the bar exam, or so he’s told me.”

“Ah, good for him. You think he’ll pass? And maybe come looking for a job as a prosecutor after his experience here?”

“I have no idea,” Rafael said, rather dismissively, but John couldn’t put aside the thought that there _might_ be _something_ going on between those two. Did Barba really find Carisi more annoying than endearing, or was the friction hinted at there rather like his own had been with Fin before they’d acknowledged their deeper feelings and attraction?

John couldn’t be sure, not with limited information, but he didn’t necessarily want to encourage something to blossom if it were in his financial interests for Barba to potentially end up with Mike Dodds. “Well, I wouldn’t mind seeing more of him around here if he decides to switch gears from detective work to legal maneuvering. Though I think Rollins might have eyes on him sticking around the 16th instead. I hear he’s been a big help to her and the baby.”

“You seem to hear and care a great deal about the personal matters of my detectives, John.”

He shrugged. “Well, when you’re living with one of them it comes with the territory.”

“I think you’d enjoy having Carisi around here more because he might actually listen with a modicum of interest to your latest conspiracy theories. He seems the type to be into that sort of nonsense.”

John grinned. “I’ll have to invite him over for dinner some night—I’m sure Fin would be _thrilled_. Anyway, I’ll get out of your hair. I’ll follow up tomorrow with the other witnesses you asked me to re-interview.”

“Thanks, John. Have a good night.”

“You too, Counselor.”

-*-

Back at the 16th, Fin and Amanda were dealing with an ongoing rape case and had their own witness to talk to—one they hoped could finally open up an investigation which had quickly grown cold.

Last week a woman had been violently attacked and raped in Chinatown after leaving her waitressing job for the night. Her name was Suzy Chien: a twenty year old daughter of immigrant parents and by all reports a smart, studious girl working hard to pay her way through classes at Manhattan Community College. She had hopes of transferring to Hudson after earning her Associates Degree, and then some day starting her own food truck business, according to her understandably upset parents. But her assault had left her in such bad shape she was still in the hospital recovering, and so far not very forthcoming with helpful details for the police.

All she had told them so far was that she hadn’t seen her attackers; there had been multiple ones, but she didn’t know exactly how many. They had dragged her into a dark alley for the assault and had all been wearing face masks or hoodies, obscuring their features. She had fought back and scratched one of the men in the face, but they were waiting for the results from the rape kit, including fluids from the sexual assault, to see if by fortunate chance there were any matches in the system.

According to Suzy’s parents, there was no one who would have had reason to assault their daughter: no boyfriends past or present who were problematic, no issues at work, no trouble at college with classmates or professors. Fin and Amanda both suspected an attack like this one, seemingly coordinated and planned by multiple men, wasn’t simply a random assault as she was trying to suggest to them. But with a victim at times both unwilling and unable to talk to them, the detectives had been at a standstill in their investigation.

Finally, this morning, one of Chien’s co-workers at the restaurant had called in and said she wanted to talk. Rollins had the woman—a girl named Mei who was about Suzy’s age—in an interview room now. Fin had held back as she seemed skittish to talk with both of them present. So he waited now at his desk to find out if Mei really did know something that would help them out, or if they were still frustratingly at a dead end.

While waiting, and catching up on some never-ending paperwork, he kept a casual eye on Dodds and Carisi. Both men had come rushing back to the 16th not long after Fin had returned from his lunch break; apparently something important had come up in their own current investigation. He noticed the way they walked and talked together with an intent closeness, a rhythm in step and cadence that, well...it reminded him of days long past working cases with John. How they had become so able to anticipate each other’s next thoughts and movements after a time, despite how different they might have seemed on the surface and to those around them.

...How that had turned into something so much more, one night in another city, when they’d both let their hidden feelings come out and realized they shared the same desires.

“Fin, did you get my message from before?” Lieutenant Benson asked him, as she came back from her own late lunch break.

“Yeah, ’Liv, I’ll get that case report to you by the end of the day. Thanks for the reminder.”

“It’s all right, I know you’ve had a lot to catch up on since you got back from vacation, and with new cases to work at the same time.” She smiled understandingly, although things had seemed a little awkward between them since that night he’d been there late and saw Tucker sneaking into her office.

“Hey, we all gotta keep that balance, work and havin’ a life, right?”

“Right. And you still owe me some time to see those vacation pictures you promised to share. Otherwise I’m never going to believe your stories of Munch in a speedo on the beach.”

“There are some things maybe better left to your imagination, ’Liv,” he answered with mock seriousness, and she laughed before heading on to her office.

Fin grinned and got back to his paperwork. He and John weren’t exactly in the closet with their relationship today—not after all of these years—but they never shouted it from the rooftops, either. Certainly not at the 16th when they’d worked together, and hadn’t wanted to cause problems with their superior officer, or their superior’s superiors, over being partners who were sexually involved. And like it or not, being “out” on the force still invited harassment and discrimination no matter how much the department’s PR machinery tried to deny it.

So they’d always played it cool, which was fine with Fin who never liked discussing his personal life with those not directly involved with it anyway. If people assumed he’d decided to live the life of a celibate, crime-fighting monk since he never discussed dating or romantic entanglements, well, he was fine with that. And most simply assumed John had given up on relationships entirely after four failed marriages and his bitter attitude toward love; who would blame him?

Of course these days, Amanda knew about Fin’s relationship with John; she had to, as far as Fin was concerned, in case something were to happen to him on the job. Plus with the time they spent working together it had simply been inevitable for her to notice and find out. Olivia knew, of course, because she was not just his commanding officer now but someone he counted as one of his closest friends after all they’d been through together. But he didn’t keep a photo of John on his desk or anything openly romantic like that; it just wasn’t his way. He could always flip through the photos on his phone, or give John a quick call when he wanted to hear his voice during the day.

And they had their lunch breaks, when they could meet up, and those were often enough to boost Fin’s morale to get through the rest of his workday without having to make a show of it all.

Carisi had likely sussed out some of the details by now, especially given how Amanda liked to talk, but thankfully he never made an issue of it. He supposed finding out that Sergeant Dodds knew he was in a relationship with a man—his former partner, no less—shouldn’t have surprised him, either, even if he wasn’t particularly thrilled about it. He and Dodds had spent some time working together while Amanda had been on maternity leave, so he’d developed more respect for the man during those weeks instead of simply seeing him as the product of political nepotism. That still hadn’t prepared him for their conversation last week while canvassing for witnesses in this current case, when it had first come across Fin desk Friday while Amanda was out for a pediatrician’s visit with Jesse.

They’d naturally started at the restaurant where Suzy worked, talking with the kitchen help, other waitresses and the manager on duty. Nobody’d had anything to report at that time as far as customers who had perhaps tried to get too friendly with Suzy, or knew of anyone who had some reason to target the poor girl.

 _“Of course, neighborhood like this, it’s tough to get anyone to talk to the cops,”_ Fin had observed to Mike. _“Close-knit. They got their own way of serving up justice, lot of the time.”_

 _“Think it was a gang-related attack?”_ Dodds had asked him.

_“Can’t rule it out. Vic’s in rough shape and can’t really talk to us yet. Hopefully by tomorrow, I can see her at the hospital and try to get some more information without her parents hovering over everything.”_

They’d moved on from the restaurant to the neighboring businesses on the block, and along the path that Suzy had walked on her way to the subway before being grabbed. Other restaurants, grocers, newsstands, tourist shops, bakeries...nobody had anything useful to say to them, no one claimed to know anything. Canvassing could be frustrating like that, in cases where either there truly were no witnesses or none willing to share what they knew.

After several hours of hard work and coming up nearly empty-handed, the two had decided to grab a quick bite for early dinner at one of the neighborhood’s many restaurants. The tempting aromas of roast duck, ginger and garlic in the air wafting out one open doorway had proven too much to resist after the hours of work, and Fin figured he’d grab some take-out to bring home for John while he was there, some extra food for the weekend ahead.

 _“Gotta be tough juggling a newborn with this job,”_ Dodds had said after they’d placed their orders and been brought two cups of hot tea.

 _“Rollins can handle it. She’s solid. Just gonna take her some time to find the right balance,”_ Fin had replied with a small degree of annoyance. This was becoming a bit of a sore spot for him as well as for Amanda. Why was the sergeant being so hung up on accepting she could be a good cop _and_ a good mother? _“Some nights I gotta kick her out to go home ’cause she doesn’t want to look like she’s slacking off, but it’s important she gets to appreciate this time with her daughter. I wasn’t so good about that with my kid, and if I had things to do over again...well. We might have a better relationship today.”_

_“You spend time with your son when you were on vacation a couple weeks ago?”_

_“No, we—I was on a cruise in the Caribbean. Catch some rays in the winter, you know?”_

_“With your...boyfriend. Munch, right, that’s his name? Hey, it’s cool, I know about you and your old partner. I saw it in your jacket when I first transferred here and was trying to get familiar with everyone I’d be working with.”_

_“Oh, right.”_ Fin had frowned. Of course, that information would be in there; John was his emergency contact on record, and they did share an apartment these days. Even so, it wasn’t a matter he’d felt like talking about with Dodds, so he’d hoped for a change of subject.

He hadn’t been so lucky.

_“I hear Munch was quite the character around the 16th. People still tell stories.”_

_“Yeah. I’m afraid most of ’em are true.”_

_“That had to be tough, wasn’t it? Working with someone you had an ongoing relationship with?”_

_“Sometimes, sure. You worry about your partner more...and then you worry if you’re putting his life in front of others’ safety, which could be a problem. But the job is what brought us together. And it’s nice to go home to someone...with someone...who understands why you don’t want to talk about work when you’re done for the day, you know? Or why you gotta take a call at four in the morning...or maybe you can’t sleep until four in the morning, if at all.”_

_“Because you can’t let go of a case even when you wish you could.”_

_“Yeah. We all got those.”_

_“How did you...I mean, if I can ask...how’d you know you were into each other, like...that way? Were you ‘out’ to each other already, or...”_

_“No, wasn’t nothing like that. It just...things fell into place, I guess. When the time was right.”_

_“Huh.”_

Thankfully their food had arrived at that point, allowing for a distraction from having to further delve into Fin’s personal life. But the conversation had left Fin wondering about Dodds, because it had seemed as though there was more he wanted to say, to know, but he was as shy about putting those things into words as Fin was about describing his love life.

Fin’s phone started to vibrate against his desk, startling him out of his recollections and observations. He saw the call was from his son, Ken, so he immediately picked it up to answer. Ken didn’t call all that often so when he did, Fin made a point to answer right away if he could. “Hey, Ken, what’s up?”

_“Hey, dad. Glad I caught you.”_

“Is something wrong?”

_“No, nothing wrong. Believe it or not there are times when I’d like to speak to you and I’m not in some kind of trouble.”_

“I know. Sorry.”

_“It’s okay. Listen, I...wanted to ask...would you have a free night this week or weekend coming up? Alejandro and I would like to have you over for dinner at our place. We have some good news to share.”_

“Uh, sure, I’d like that. Uh...this week’s lookin’ pretty hectic so far, but, maybe Thursday? Unless something comes up.” If Ken had exciting news to share, he would go crazy having to wait until the weekend to hear about it.

_“Thursday is good with us. But if you need to put it off until the weekend just let me know, that’s fine. Oh, and John’s welcome to come, too. In fact I think we’d like to share this with both of you together.”_

“Sure, of course.” Ken and John got along well—in fact quite often a bit better than Fin got along with his own son. So having John along could be a good thing in case their “good news” ended up being something Fin wasn’t equally thrilled about. For now he could only speculate. “I’ll call Thursday afternoon to confirm, okay?”

_“Great. Thanks, dad. Looking forward to it.”_

“Yeah, me too.”

 


	4. Chapter 4

Carisi and Dodds stood in the interrogation room with a third man who was cuffed to the table between them. The man was unshaven, dirty, and from his current round of ramblings, possibly psychotic. Dodds had gotten a call from Rollins, who had told him that area cops had collared a meth head lingering outside of Shane's apartment building that morning after they had dropped Shane off at his apartment.

Carisi felt himself get jealous of the stories Benson had told him about Dr. Huang's abilities when it came to the mentally disabled, having anyone like Huang would have been a godsend, especially since he could feel Dodds's annoyance mounting with every word out of their suspect's mouth.

He felt Dodds rest his large hand on his shoulder as he looked at the suspect and then back at him.

“Sarge, thoughts?” Carisi sassed as Dodds let out a sigh and as he felt his ipad getting wet with his clammy hands.

“I am not good with people...not-all-the-way-there-mentally people that is. You should take the lead with him, maybe he'll tell you what he did to Shane?”

Carisi couldn't help but smile at the cloaked compliment from his superior and he took a seat across from the man and took out his ipad, then turned it around and showed the suspect the picture of Shane before his transition.

“You know him...her?” Carisi questioned as he felt himself get flustered over the mix up in pronouns.

“No-him, that's a girl...pretty girl-” the suspect's eyes widened as he tried to reach out and touch Shane's image, but Carisi pulled it away from his reach.

“-Yeah, she sure is, look, you got picked up for holdin' meth outside of this...person's apartment complex last week, but funny thing about that, uh, Mr. Westfield, seems that our vic puts you in the area the night he was attacked.” Carisi glared at Mr. Westfield, who was scratching his hair. He glanced at Dodds, who was seated next to him now, stoic and reserved as always. He couldn't help but notice how he felt his heart skip a bit when Dodds used his stern face to stare down a perp.

“I don't know any girl, or boy, or he-she, or what ever the hell it is-”

“-it really isn't an okay pronoun to use, Mr. Westfield, but what is okay for us to do is put you in a line up. We have several witnesses that saw you outside of Shane's apartment the night he was assaulted, and they've seen you with known transphobes in the area protesting at several anti-trans rights rallies.” Dodds added as Carisi took in Dodds's confident manner. He felt himself envious of Dodds's strong man tactics, wishing he could duplicate them accurately.

“That is right, I don't have to like it and you can't make me do otherwise!” Mr. Westfield shouted at them, “They pretend and hide and when we try to fix them, we get told that we're wrong and we need to change, what a load of crap!” their perp slammed his cuffed hands on the table, causing Carisi to jump a bit in his seat.

“You'll be in a line up in about twenty minutes, I'd get comfortable...” Carisi said with a slight smirk on his face as he and Dodds exited the room.

The door shut behind him and Carisi felt his heart race. He hated that people existed to cause others pain and suffering for being outside of norm, it never had made any sense to him. For as long as he could recall, he'd been taught that even when his own views differed from another persons he was to be respectful and tolerant, he was starting to wonder if that lesson had fallen out of favor in recent years with humanity.

“You alright? You look a bit shaken up...” Dodds said as his hazel eyes skimmed over Carisi, reflecting with a bit of concern for him.

“Yeah, yeah, it's nothin', I just feel horrible that we're gonna make Shane possibly face his attacker so soon after what happened, it was a few days ago, you know?”

“I know, but if Shane can I.D. Mr. Westfield, then we'll have some solid evidence to give to Barba, and he'll appreciate that. In the long run it will be better.” Dodds replied as Carisi noted his rare optimism with their work.

“Thanks sarge, I forget now and again.” Carisi answered with a smile on his face as Dodds went to set up the line up. He returned himself to his desk and sat down, looking at Shane's pre-transition photo. Their victim looked a bit similar to a handful of Carisi's female cousins and he couldn't help but wonder what his family would do if they had a trans family member. He wanted to believe that they'd be supportive, he could visualize his entire family embracing their new member, with their new and real identity and welcoming him as one of their own, but after the incident with Avery a few months ago and his parents own comments on it, his heart suddenly felt heavy in his chest.

_I don't see them being that welcoming, I mean, if Sue came out as Stan or Dave, I wouldn't mind, I'd mess up some of the pronouns at first, but damn I'd try my best to make him happy..._ Carisi's internal monologue was cut short by Dodds returning to his side with a recovering Shane standing next to him.

Looking at Shane made Carisi sad, but the young man had also forced Carisi to realize that he wasn't as well equipped to handle transgender victims as well as he thought he had been. His heart was heavy with guilt over Avery and the world loosing such a beautiful soul, but was stopped short by Shane speaking to him.

“Detective Carisi, I heard that you and Dodds collared the bastard who did this to me?” Shane's voice cracked a bit. The young man had started transitioning after his assault; the hormone therapy was already starting to work, his voice was deepening more and more every time Carisi and Dodds spoke with him.

“We've got a suspect in custody Shane, we just need you to ID them out of a line up, you up to that?” Carisi gently asked as Shane crossed his arms over his chest and looked at him and the sarge.

“I-I think I can, it happened so fast...it hurt so much...” the young man's eyes watered with tears as Dodds handed him a pack of tissues.

“We can understand how difficult this is, but in your initial report you said you saw him, which means that if you I.D.-” Dodds answered, but Carisi felt the urge to interject.

“What the sarge is trying to get at is, with you I.D-ing him, it makes our case a lot stronger, and that can lead to us having a way better chance of convicting him.”

Carisi saw Dodd's expression grasping him cutting him off mid sentence and responded with a nod.

“What if I don't want to do it, what if he sees me?” Shane whispered at them.

“It will make getting a conviction harder, I'm not gonna lie to you Shane, but the sarge and I will be with you the entire time, and he can't see you on the other side of the glass, okay?” he replied as he stood up from his seat.

Shane tucked back his hair behind his ears, “Okay...I'll do it.”

-*-

Mike walked on the other side of Shane as Carisi opened the door for both of them. He was still a bit surprised by some of Carisi's comments during their tiny lunch break, but he didn't have the luxury of thinking over them, it was of the utmost importance that Shane ID their suspect, so they could get him processed and Barba could arraign him ASAP.

Carisi shut the door behind them and Mike glanced at Shane. The poor kid was going through more than any 17 year old should; legally emancipated and living by himself in a rundown apartment, he was making a living while trying to get his GED by being a blogger on LGBTQIA issues, something Mike knew he'd never be able to do at that age. To top off the issues Shane had were his transition and his assault, neither of which should ever accompany the other.

The three of them watched six men walk into the room in a single file line, each man holding a number card. Mike could feel the tension in the room and spoke up.

“Shane, did any of these men assault you?” he softly asked as Shane locked eyes with him for a moment and then glanced over the other men. Mike knew that Mr. Westfield was number 3, and he longed to tell Shane that was the man who attacked him, but he bit his tongue as Shane nodded his head.

“Yes,” the young man's timid voice broke the silence around him. “Number 3 did it...he raped me...” Shane's shoulders shook as Mike knocked on the glass three times as a legal defense attorney waltzed in.

“Syliva Davis, for Mr. Westfield.” the petite woman said as she extended her hand towards Mike and Carisi, neither one of them shook it.

“We'll give you some time with your client, but he was picked out of a line up, it's not lookin' so good for him.” Carisi said as Mike saw the detective's hands turn into fists on either side of his waist.

“That's quaint, but Mr. Westfield does deserve full legal representation, so he's going to get it.” Ms. Davis snapped back as she gave Shane a dirty look. Mike caught Carisi fighting the urge to pummel the attorney, but his crush showed restraint, only giving Mike another reason to fall for him.

“He's in interrogation room three, you can talk to him there.” Mike answered her as she raised an eyebrow at Shane and turned on her heels, leaving the room.

“What the hell was that?!-” Carisi started to say as Mike turned his attention to Shane.

“You'll be able to head home now, we'll make sure an officer stays outside your apartment throughout the entire trial, okay?”

Shane nodded his head and Mike felt his heart crumple a bit. He envied Carisi's ability to be more emotionally expressive, whereas his father had always told him to suppress his emotions, which caused him to appear aloof and cold to his peers. Carisi held the door open for Shane, who was escorted out of the precinct and to his home by an officer.

Mike felt his body in Carisi's eye line and he saw Carisi's eyes soften around the edges.

“How does anybody make another person feel like crap for being themselves?” Carisi asked him as Mike shifted his own body weight from one foot to the other.

“I don't know, but I felt like when we were kids, we were just told to be quiet about it, now it seems that every nutjob who hates any other person who isn't just like them gets to hide behind religion, it just doesn't feel right, no one deserves what Shane's going through, obsessive blogger or not.”

“Yeah...look, I'm not feelin' all that well, I'm gonna lie down for a bit. I know it's me slackin' off but-”

“Carisi, take care of yourself, okay? I'll go over where we are with the case with Benson and just take care.” Mike heard how kind he sounded and wanted to believe that for a moment decades of emotional stunting were instantaneously undone, but he knew that wouldn't be true.

“Thanks sarge, appreciate it.” Carisi replied as he walked out of the room before Mike did.

Mike watched Carisi head into the bunker and take a nap as his ears picked up on Fin talking to someone, someone he was close to.

“Sure, of course.” Fin answered the mystery person on the phone, “I'll call Thursday afternoon to confirm, okay?”

Mike felt guilty about eavesdropping on Fin, but with he recalled his conversation with him last week during dinner at a Chinese restaurant and he wondered if Fin was talking to Munch, or someone else. He shook off the need to know and sat down at his own desk, filing paperwork before he worked up the nerve to talk to Benson.

_Hopefully we'll solve something this week._ He thought as fought off the urge to think about Carisi's peacefully sleeping body on one of the bunker beds only a few yards away.

 


	5. Chapter 5

“Dad, John, so glad you both could make it over.”

“Hey Ken, good to see you.” Fin took his son in a quick embrace, then shook his husband’s hand and greeted him in turn. “Alejandro.”

“Mr. Tutuola, thanks for joining us tonight.”

“Sure thing. And stop calling me that. How many times I gotta tell you it’s Fin, all right?” Fin smiled even as he gently scolded.

“Sorry, Fin. Hey, John.”

“Hey kiddo, long time no see.” John gave both young men enthusiastic hugs as he entered the apartment behind Fin. Sometimes Fin envied John’s ease with physical contact like that; he’d never found it so instinctive or comfortable...not even with his own son.

“Here, let me take your coats,” Ken offered.

“...And let me pour you both something to drink,” Alejandro added. “Is red wine all right? I’ve got _arroz con pollo_ on the stove and a really nice Spanish Tempranillo breathing that should work with it wonderfully.”

“Sounds perfect to me,” John said and Fin nodded in agreement. He wasn’t a big wine drinker in general but he’d go with whatever was easiest for everyone tonight. The last few days his thoughts had been so preoccupied, trying to figure out what big news his son had for him, that the last thing on his mind right now was appreciating appropriate wine pairings.

“Great. Please, have a seat and relax. Dinner is still about twenty minutes from being ready.”

Fin and John did just that, taking a seat on the sectional in the well-appointed living room. “Place is looking good, Ken,” Fin said.

“Mostly thanks to Alejandro. He’s the one with the eye for decor.” The boys had found themselves a surprisingly spacious apartment together in Brooklyn, a nice two bedroom in a neighborhood still on the verge of becoming trendy and currently considered “in transition”—therefore the rents were reasonable enough for two young men to afford. The extra bedroom, Ken had explained, sometimes came in handy for the runaways who came in for his help at Williams House. He worked there full time now instead of simply volunteering in-between classes as he had while in college.

Fin had been uncomfortable when he’d first discovered his son would let strangers into his home like that, but he’d long ago learned to stop trying to tell Ken what he should or shouldn’t do with his life. Ken had his personal causes and his way of doing things, so Fin had to simply say his prayers that his son’s judgement of others was on point.

“Maybe we should have Alejandro come over and see what he could do with _our_ place,” John said, in a tone of voice that suggested he was only half-joking.

“Yeah, right. Our apartment needs a professional declutterer, not an interior decorator. If you’d put some of your books in storage, or better yet get rid of them...”

“We are _not_ having this conversation again, especially in front of company,” John cut him off, and fortunately Alejandro arrived with wine glasses to divert the conversation. The decanter of wine was already on the coffee table along with a plate of cheese, olives and crackers to nibble on while waiting for dinner. Alejandro carefully poured a glass for each of them before sitting down on the other side of the sectional with Ken.

“Well, cheers, everyone,” Ken said a little awkwardly, raising his glass.

“To the company of good friends and family,” John added. Everyone raised their glasses and took a sip. John cast a quick warning glance in Fin’s direction which required no response; on their way over he’d been quite insistent that no matter what news the boys had to tell them, Fin had better behave himself. Too many years had been invested into repairing the fragile relationship between father and son for it to fall apart now. _“Even if he’s going to tell you he and Alejandro are taking off for a year in Tibet to fight against human rights abuse, I want you to smile and be happy for them,”_ John had insisted.

John availed himself of the cheese plate and made small talk with Alejandro about gourmet food and wine shopping in the city while Ken looked as awkward and anxious to address this “news” as Fin felt. Finally the elder Tutuola could take the suspense no longer. “So, uh...this big news you had for me,” Fin said. “You gonna wait until after we eat to spill it, or are you gonna let us in on the secret now?”

Ken and Alejandro looked to each other, sharing a nervous smile. Fin felt John’s free hand reaching around his shoulders in a light embrace, but also a gesture that said, _“Steady, now.”_

“You’re right, there’s no reason to make you wait any longer, dad. We didn’t want to tell you over the phone because it’s too important to both of us. Hopefully for everyone here. Do you remember, a few months ago, I told you we were thinking about becoming foster parents, maybe even adopting a child?”

“I remember.” He had, in fact, told Ken he thought it was a wonderful thing to consider, given how many children he saw end up in the foster system thanks to abusive or neglectful parents. But he’d also cautioned Ken to consider if he were really ready to take on that responsibility at his young age, and to make sure he’d thought through all that he’d be taking on by becoming a parent.

“Well, we began the process of getting in to the foster system soon after that. Going to the classes and filling out all of the paperwork...but then another possibility came up recently.”

“Or rather, someone in need came to your son for help,” Alejandro interjected.

Ken nodded. “This really nice girl named Christina. She’s a runaway from a rural farming community Pennsylvania. She came to Williams House for help after finding out about us from someone else on the street. She’d gotten pregnant back home by a guy she was seeing against her parents wishes and ran away because she was scared of what they would do to her.”

“Her family is extremely religious?” John guessed.

“And extremely abusive, from what she’s told us—and had physical scars to prove as well. Even though she’s nineteen now, her parents had her under tight control, wanting her to stay on their farm, take care of her younger brothers and sisters instead of living her own life. She’d gone to a crisis center back home, back where she’s from, trying to get an abortion. But it ended up being one of those fake abortion pro-life clinics that delay the procedure until it’s too late for anyone to legally abort a fetus. That’s when Christina panicked and took off for New York.”

“We go after clinics like those for fraud, Ken,” Fin said, and John nodded. They’d had a case like that a number of years ago and the pro-life doctor who’d falsely promised women abortion services had gone to jail for his deceptive practices.

“But it was out of state,” Ken said.

“Doesn’t matter. We can let authorities in that jurisdiction know. Maybe they can do something about it,” Fin encouraged.

“That would be great, but it won’t help Christina at this point. She’s been staying with us here while we’ve worked to get her some real medical attention, and counseling. Tonight she’s at a training meeting for a job we’ve found for her, one she’ll start after she’s had her baby which should be about two months from now.” Ken paused, reaching for Alejandro’s hand. “She knows she’s not ready to be a parent on her own, so she’sdecided to put the baby up for adoption. And the more Alejandro and I got to know her—”

“—and we really get along with her so well—” Alejandro put in.

“—the more we thought, maybe this was somehow meant to be.”

“You’re going to adopt her baby,” Fin said, putting all the pieces together.

“Yes,” Ken said with a sigh of obvious relief.

“Well, congratulations to all of you!” John said enthusiastically. _“Mazel tov.”_

“Thank you.”

Fin was trying to process all of this, and as always his own potential excitement was curbed with cautions and concerns for his son. “So you’re doing this as a private adoption, right? Have you spoken with an attorney yet?”

“We’re working with an adoption lawyer, yes, dad. Everything will be legal and to the letter. We’ve already signed the contract and worked out all the details. After the baby is born, Christina is moving in to her own place, but it’s going to be an open adoption.”

“We want her involved in her son’s life, as much as she chooses to be,” Alejandro explained.

“Son,” Fin repeated. “So, it’s a boy?”

“Yes.” Ken smiled. “We haven’t decided on a name yet. We’ve decided to wait until after he’s born to decide what truly suits him.”

“Well, I think it’s all great news, isn’t it, Fin?” John said, not so subtly encouraging Fin for a more enthusiastic response.

“Yeah, I mean...congratulations. To both of you. I really hope everything works out smoothly.”

“Thanks, dad.” A buzzer dinged in the kitchen and Alejandro stood, saying, “I need to check on dinner, add some finishing touches.”

“Let me give you a hand.” John got to his feet and followed Alejandro into the kitchen, leaving Fin and Ken alone for a few minutes.

“You _are_ happy for us, aren’t you?” Ken asked.

“Of course! I know this is something you’ve been looking forward to for some time. I hope it all works out fine. Guess I’ve seen too many bad situations on the job, you know? Adoptions gone wrong...I want to be sure you’re protecting yourself, not just this woman and her baby.”

“I think when you meet Christina, you’ll understand better. And maybe stop doubting my judgement.”

“I don’t doubt you, Ken. I worry about you.”

“I know, dad. Maybe we could all meet sometime soon?”

“I’d like that. And, would you mind if I get someone to look over that contract? One of our detectives at SVU has been taking law classes, and I’d like to make sure you and Alejandro are being fairly protected. That there aren’t any loopholes to worry about.”

“Sure. I can email you a copy tomorrow.”

“I’d appreciate it.”

“Hey, how about someone out there set the table?” John called to them from the kitchen.

“I think we’re being summoned,” Ken said.

“Yeah, and leaving John in the kitchen too long is dangerous. We’d better go lend a hand.”

-*-

“So, ‘Grandpa Tutuola’. Has a certain ring to it, don’t you think?”

“I guess.”

John and Fin had left the boys’ apartment after the hearty meal and a few more glasses of wine while debating potential baby names. They were headed to the nearest subway station, to catch a train back to their own place for the rest of the night. “Aren’t you excited?” John pressed, clearly picking up on Fin’s quiet moodiness since Ken and Alejandro’s announcement.

“’Course I am. I just hope they realize how much work and responsibility they’re taking on with a kid. A newborn, especially. That’s a full time job, with a lot of expenses to take into account.”

“They’ve been thinking about this seriously for quite a while, so I’m sure they’ve prepared and planned quite thoroughly for it.”

“Don’t care how much ‘preparation’ you’ve done, you never really know how having a kid changes your life until it happens.” _Just look at Amanda,_ he thought, although he knew John hadn’t seen her struggles first-hand the way Fin did every day, since even before Jesse was born.

“Well, after everything both of them have already been through in their lives, I have a feeling they’ll figure this one out. Although, if they do find they need more help with the kid than they’ve realized...”

“What?” Fin prompted as John trailed off. John merely shrugged.

“I could always cut back on my work schedule, or even retire for good. Get in some grandpa time of my own instead of them having to hire an expensive nanny or put the kid in day care.”

“Thought you were glad you never had kids.”

“I am. Putting a child through any of my previous marriages would have been a terrible thing for all involved. And my genetic history doesn’t exactly merit being passed along to another generation. But that doesn’t mean I don’t like spending time with children. Or sometimes wondering what it would have been like to be a father.”

They paused at a crosswalk, waiting for the walk light to change. Fin could tell John had more on his mind, so he waited for him to continue speaking. After they crossed the street, John said, “Do you remember...I mean, this was years ago, but...Emily McKenna?”

Fin thought for a moment, then shook his head. “Name sounds sort of familiar, but no.”

“One of our first cases together, so it’s practically ancient history by now. This little girl who was in a coma after suffering a severe brain injury. Turned out the mother was responsible, and she’d been abusing both Emily and her younger brother for years.”

“Oh yeah, I do remember that one.” They hadn’t been partnered for very long, as Fin recalled, but the case had left an impression even if he hadn’t remembered the girl’s name. It was one of the first times Fin had seen the extent of the child abuse horrors he’d have to confront regularly if he stayed at SVU. And it had also been one of the first times he’d seen that softer, not-so-cynical side of John Munch, observed how well children responded to him and how much their abuse could trouble the older detective.

“I couldn’t let go of that one for a while,” John continued. “That girl...she reminded me of someone I knew when I was a kid myself. When I could, I’d go check on Emily in the hospital. Read to her. Talk to her...she didn’t seem to have anyone else who cared whether she lived or died. Believe it or not, I even talked with her case worker from ACS about fostering or adopting her myself, if she came out of her coma and her prognosis was favorable.”

“For real?”

“Yes, for real. I was having doubts if I’d made the right choice, starting over in New York and still doing police work. Losing two partners in one year, just when I was beginning to like and trust working with them, and these cases were so much worse than most of what I’d seen in Homicide...I was ready to say fuck it, put that pension from Baltimore to good use and give it a shot as a single dad.”

“So what happened?” Fin asked as they approached the entrance to the subway.

“Emily never came out of her coma. About a month after we closed the case, she suffered from a series of severe seizures and was declared brain dead.”

Fin hadn’t known—not about Emily, not about any of this. Even after sixteen years together, it seemed there were still things he didn’t know about John, which was a little surprising to discover. Especially considering how, if things had gone differently, they wouldn’t be where they were today.

They headed down into the station, which was nearly deserted at this late hour of the night. Only a few others milled about on the platform, under the fluorescent lights and waiting for the rumble of an approaching train. John was the one who seemed quiet and distracted now by thoughts of the past. In the relative quiet and solitude of the station, Fin leaned in close to slip an arm around John’s waist, giving him a quick hug of comfort and a light nuzzle against his cheek. “Sorry ’bout Emily. But I’m glad you stuck around,” he said softly in John’s ear.

That brought out a familiar smile and a look in John’s eyes that let Fin know all was well. “So am I, Fin. Every day, I’m glad for that. For you.”

 


	6. Chapter 6

Carisi sat next to Mike in court as both men had finished being questioned by Barba and the defense. While Carisi had tons of experience with it, Mike didn’t and he knew from the snarky ADA’s glances that he’d made it a bit harder for Barba during the redirect.

Mike was thrilled that he wasn’t going to have to sit on the witness stand any time soon, he had to thank Shane for testifying, he gathered if it wouldn’t be easy for him, it must have felt impossible to Shane.

Mike glanced over at Carisi and felt himself taking a moment to linger on the slim detective’s good looks. Carisi had a classic, pensive sort of beauty that Mike was drawn to, like any moment Carisi could have looked at him, announced he was from another time in history and Mike wouldn’t have been bothered by it at all. He felt himself batting away the urge to reach out and touch Carisi’s blonde locks, but was knocked back into reality by the judge announcing they would take an hour long recess and then summations would take place.

Carisi looked at him and smiled, “Looks like we get a bite to eat after all, right sarge?”

Mike closed his eyes and opened them to bring himself into focus, “Uh, yeah, looks like we do...uh oh, Barba does not look happy...” he got out as the shorter ADA whisked over towards them and shot them a look with his grey-green eyes.

“Sergeant Dodds, was it was wrong for me to assume you’ve testified before in open court, what happened up there?” Barba practically hissed at him as Mike shifted his weight to diffuse Barba’s glare locking on to him.

“I’m sorry, I-”

“-Hey, we all know this is a rough case, but that defense attorney was the worst, used every minor wormy trick to get Mike to fumble,” Carisi butted in as he turned his eyes from Barba towards Mike, “you’ll get ‘em next time sarge, I’ll review your testimony with you.” Carisi winked at him as Barba openly rolled his eyes before both men and Mike felt himself blush. Carisi was getting bolder and bolder with his flirting, and Mike didn’t know how to read it, let alone how to confidently flirt back.

“Thanks for the offer, but we should get something for lunch.” Mike countered as Barba nodded his head.

“Go, and thanks for your testimony, I think I can get the conviction we all want.” Barba looked at them both and strolled away.

“So, where to?” Carisi asked him as Mike put on his jacket and they made their way out of the courtroom.

“Whatever sounds good to you, I’m open.” Mike replied, trying to make Carisi feel as comfortable was possible. He had noted that keeping options open with the rest of the squad had made working with them easier, heck, even Rollins was being a bit nicer to him, as long as he did that and didn’t bring up anything motherhood related.

“Sarge, pick somewhere, I know today was stressful for you.” Carisi assured him as they walked out of the courthouse and down the steps.

“There’s a place a few blocks from here that would work for me, burger joint, that okay?”

“Yeah, wherever sarge, just as long as I’m with-” Carisi stopped and looked at him, his face dressed in a blush, his hands hiding in his coat pockets as he tried not to look at him.

“-as long as you’re what? With me?” Mike teased and felt in control. He didn’t want Carisi to think he was a push over, but he also felt that it was a good line to flirt back with him on.

“Well, yeah,” Carisi walked ahead, forcing Mike to catch up with him as the cool wind whipped about them, “You’re a good guy, it’s nice to know a good cop, an honest cop.”

Mike smiled, “I’m sure that’s right where you were going with that sentence, detective.”

“Whoa, hey now, I’ll take a sentence wherever I wanna, sarge.” Carisi coyly responded as they kept moving, but Mike felt Carisi move a bit closer to him, their shoulders touching.

Mike felt himself get a bit weak in the knees, but put up a tough front as they walked around the corner and down another block or two. He couldn’t find a topic to talk about that felt interesting, he didn’t want to bring up work again, and he didn’t want to say anything about his personal life, so silence felt like the best choice. It was, until Carisi grabbed his arm and gently lead him into a small alleyway.

“What’s-” Mike barely got out the sentence as Carisi looked at him with his blue eyes filled with longing.

“Sarge, I gotta know...you into guys?” the question jumped out of Carisi’s mouth as Mike felt himself moving closer towards him, standing right before him.

“Carisi...it’s complicated, I’ve never felt like this before, I don’t even know what I’m feeling...I...” Mike couldn't find the words to finish the sentence, which from the other man’s wounded expression wasn’t good.

“It’s fine, it’s nothin’ right?” Carisi shot out to defend his pride as he took a step back.

 _You’re doing it again, you’re hiding what you really want...go for it!_ Mike chided himself as he slowly pulled Carisi close to him with his right arm wrapping around his waist.

“I don’t know, it’s the honest truth, but I do know that when I fall asleep, I wish someone was there next to me, someone kind, honest, hardworking...” Mike held him a bit tighter as he felt Carisi’s arms reach up and drape on to his neck, “...you...I want...”

Carisi looked down, his head shaking, “Mike, I’ve gotta hear it, I can’t guess anymore...”

Mike closed his eyes, bracing for the emotional impact of his next sentence, “I, I want you, Carisi...okay?” he opened them to see Carisi’s lips press against his own.

He pulled Carisi close, savoring the moment, the softness of the detective’s lips, the total release of an image he had imposed upon him- he was no longer the chief’s son, but instead another human finding bliss in an intimate moment. It felt so right, so right Mike wanted it to last forever, but just as he found himself safe with the closeness, Carisi pulled away and looked at his phone, which Mike registered was ringing.

“Detective Carisi, SVU.” Carisi’s voice trembled a bit from their kiss and the cool weather, “right, I’ll be back.” he swiped his phone and ended the call, his eyes locking with Mike’s

“Who…?” Mike forced himself to say as he floated in the afterglow of their moment.

“Fin needs me to head back to the precinct, says its personal and important, I’ve gotta go...” Mike saw Carisi scratch the back of his head out of nerves.

“Carisi...can we talk about-”

“-later, sorry, I know better than to keep Fin waiting, we’ll talk later.” Carisi brushed back a bit of his hair that had broken free from his pomade and passed Mike, leaving him alone in the alleyway.

“Sure.” Mike answered to the empty space around him.

 


	7. Chapter 7

_Earlier that day..._

“I hate sitting around in the car in the cold.”

“Gonna be Springtime soon enough.”

Amanda snorted. “Not soon enough for me.”

“Thought you’d be used to these New York winters by now, Georgia girl,” Fin teased.

“Not by a long shot.”

“Have some coffee. That’ll keep you warm.” Fin had brought a full, large thermos with him and was only on his second cup.

“Then I’ll have to get out and pee in a little while—which will of course end up being right when our suspects finally show their faces and you’ll need me. Honestly, I don’t know how you can sit there for hours on end drinking coffee and not have to use the bathroom.”

“It’s a guy thing.”

“Yeah right. It’s a Fin thing. I think you must be half-camel.”

They were camped out in their car on Mulberry Street, near where Chinatown blended into what was left of Little Italy, on the lookout for several suspects they finally had in the Chien case. The waitress who’d come in and spoken with Amanda the other day, Mei, had turned out to be a good friend of Suzy’s. She hadn’t been working the day Fin and Dodds had canvassed the neighborhood so she hadn’t known the assault was being investigated until later on, that there was anyone she could talk to about it. Despite her co-workers insistence that she “mind her own business”, Mei was determined to see her friend’s attackers punished for what they did to Suzy—and she had a very good idea who was responsible.

 _“According to Mei, Suzy wasn’t quite as unfailingly dedicated to her studies as her parents believed, at least not a couple months ago,”_ Amanda had told Fin after her first, private talk with the woman. _“She’d been seeing this guy who they’d run into at a neighborhood karaoke bar, where the girls at the restaurant sometimes went after work. A real bad boy type, hung out with a group of wanna-be thugs, low-level dealers who weren’t connected enough to get in one of the real gangs.”_

_“Yeah, I know the type.”_

_“Anyway...Suzy ended up breaking it off with him pretty quick, according to Mei. Got her taste of the wild side but then decided she had to be a good girl, stick to work and school if she were ever going to be more than a waitress in a dim sum joint. But this guy wasn’t being too amenable to being told to take a hike. He’d come in to the restaurant, alone or with his buddies, and give Suzy all kinds of grief and trouble. And she was too embarrassed and afraid of losing her job to say anything about it to her boss, or to anyone else but Mei.”_

_“This loser ex-boyfriend and his buddies have names?”_

_“Mei only knows the ex-boyfriend as Weisheng, and heard two of his friends called Tony and Jun. But get this: the Saturday night after Suzy was attacked? Mei was at the karaoke bar with some other friends, trying to relax after hearing what had happened to Suzy. And Weisheng’s buddies were all there, apparently bragging loudly about how they’d ‘taught some whore a lesson’ about disrespecting a member of their crew.”_

_“Sounds like we finally got a lead to check out. Mei able to give us any kind of description of these guys, besides first names?”_

_“Better yet, how about instagram photos? She’s got some on her account from her nights out while Suzy was going with this guy.”_

Mei had also been able to share that Weisheng and his crew hung out a lot at one bubble tea cafe in the neighborhood, gathering there around lunchtime before setting out to make pains in the asses of themselves elsewhere. So that was where the two detectives were parked outside of since morning, hoping to catch sight of their suspects.

They’d been there for over two hours already with no luck yet, but the day was still young. “So I got some big news from Ken last night,” Fin said casually, starting on his third cup of coffee.

“Oh yeah? What’s that.”

“Looks like I’m going to be a grandfather. He and Alejandro are lined up to adopt a baby real soon.”

Amanda practically squealed in surprise. “Oh my God! _Congratulations_! They must be so excited. _You_ must be excited.”

“Yeah, they can’t wait. They’ve been planning for it for a while, you know. Waiting for the right opportunity to come along.” Fin told her the story about how Ken and Alejandro had met the baby’s mother, and all the details they’d shared with him and John the night before. “I think John’s even more excited than I am. He’s already talking about reducing his schedule at the DA’s office, see about spending more time off to help with the baby.”

“Aw, that’s so sweet. And just think: Jesse and their baby are gonna be so close in age, they could be playmates. They’ll get to grow up together and everything!”

“Right now I just want to make sure it all works out okay,” Fin said, still feeling cautious about getting too enthusiastic. “They already signed the adoption contract, but...think I’m gonna ask Carisi to give it a look over this afternoon, make sure it’s legit. They got their hearts so set on this baby, I don’t want the mother to be pulling some kind of scam on them, or try to take the kid back as soon as he’s born.”

“I think you’ve spent too long on this job, Fin—and around John. Not everything is a conspiracy or a crime waiting to happen.”

“Say that to me after another ten years on this job yourself.”

“So, are they having a shower?”

“A what?”

“A baby shower!”

“Oh. I don’t know,” Fin said with a shrug. “Didn’t ask them. Don’t know if they’re the type to go for something like that.”

“Come on, they have to have a baby shower. If they don’t have one planned yet, I can see about making that happen.”

“Yeah right. You mean, in all that spare time you’ve got between this job and taking care of your own baby?”

“It doesn’t have to be anything fancy like the shower my mother threw for me. In fact, I wouldn’t want it to be anything like that. Just a casual thing, you know. A real party, relaxed and fun, anyone can come. Not just a bunch of women playing stupid games like ‘Bobbing for nipples’, ‘What’s the poop’ or ‘Find the dirty diaper’.”

Fin looked at Amanda with equal parts confusion and horror. “You’re making all of that up.”

“I only wish. Hey, does that look like two of our jokers heading into the cafe now?”

Fin followed Amanda’s gaze and did a quick mental check. The two young men nearing the entrance certainly looked like the ones in Mei’s instagram photos and were wearing similar outerwear: a red leather jacket with lots of zippers on one, the other in a striped blue and black hoodie. “Yeah, looks to be the one Mei said was Tony in the red jacket, and the other guy whose name she never got. Let’s wait and see who else shows up.”

A few minutes later and sure enough, two other young men who fit the appearances of Weisheng and Jun came walking up the block, headed to join their friends. “Should we go in?” Amanda asked.

“Let’s give them some time, see if anyone else joins the party. Might be better if we can talk to them out here on the street.”

They waited, keeping an eye on the cafe for another half-hour or so until the four young men stepped outside together, seemingly all for a smoke break. “What do you think, Fin?” Amanda asked.

“I think now’s our time to roll.”

Fin got out the driver’s side after checking for oncoming traffic, Amanda following suit on the sidewalk side. They casually crossed the street, trying not to draw attention to themselves until they were near the cafe entrance. Weisheng and his buddies were so preoccupied with their own joking conversation that they didn’t even notice the two detectives until they were almost right in front of them, badges drawn.

“Yo, what’s your problem? We ain’t doing nothing here,” the one Mei had identified as Jun said.

“Just need to ask you four some questions is all.” Amanda pulled out her phone, which had a picture of Suzy on it—after her attack. “Any of you recognize this woman?”

“Girl’s face is all fucked up, how’s anyone supposed to recognize her?” Jun replied, earning some snickers from his companions.

“Funny, considering we have reason to believe y’all might know something about how she ended up that way.”

“Yeah? According to who?” Weisheng demanded.

“According to a witness who heard your buddies here bragging about messing a girl up the other night,” Fin said. “Funny how your ex-girlfriend happened to be in the hospital after being raped and beaten up at the time.”

“Man, I don’t know anything about that, or what happened to that bitch since I dumped her.”

“Nice scratch there on your cheek, Tony,” Amanda said.

“My mom’s got a mean-ass cat,” he replied, rubbing at his face. “Fucked me over when I tried to pick him up.”

“Are we done here? ’Cause I don’t think any of us need to answer any more of your questions without a lawyer,” Weisheng said, looking around at his crew who all nodded and tried to look tough in agreement.

“Just one. Where were you last Thursday night, after eleven p.m.?” Fin asked.

“At home.”

“Alone?”

“Just the four of us hangin’ out at my place until about two or three in the morning, ain’t that right?”

The others murmured their agreement. “Isn’t that convenient,” Fin said. “And I don’t suppose anyone else can vouch for your whereabouts.”

“Easy way to get us off your backs, boys, would be to come down to the station and let us take swabs, prove your DNA doesn’t match what we found from our victim,” Amanda put in.

“You want my DNA?” Tony said, getting in Amanda’s face with a sneer. “How about you get on _your_ back and _earn_ it?”

Fin leaned in to give the little creep a piece of his mind, but Amanda coolly waved him off, not reacting to Tony with any fear or response to his attempted intimidation. Jun blew a cloud of smoke in Fin’s face, laughed, and tossed his cigarette butt at the detective’s feet before turning to head off. Blue-and-black hoodie did the same, and all four walked off casually, slapping each other on the backs and making rude comments about “white bitches” and “dumb cops” which only made Amanda roll her eyes.

“Well, that went well,” she said with a sigh.

“Actually, it did.” Fin reached in his coat pocket for a pair of latex gloves and bent down by the cigarette butts on the sidewalk. “Get some evidence envelopes from the car; we can run these to the lab for testing.”

“Damn. I love it when they’re dumb as rocks, don’t you?”

“Most of ’em are. But yeah, just makes my day.”

 


	8. Chapter 8

Carisi paced back to the precinct, his mind fluttering with his moment with the sarge, unsure about had happened between them. He knew his boss had confessed to having romantic feelings for him, but the moment was still so fresh and pristine in his mind, he didn’t want his own doubts to muddy it. He took off his jacket and looked over at Fin’s desk. The oldest detective on their squad was perplexed by what looked like a large bundle of papers strewed out before him.

“You called?” Carisi asked as he made his way over to Fin’s desk.

“Yeah, thanks for comin’ in. I was wondering if you could use your night school training to look over these for me.” Fin answered as Carisi was hit with the same mound of paperwork falling into his arms.

“Whoa, what are you doin’ adopting a kid?!” Carisi teased at Fin’s eyes hinted that he was on to something, “Wait, you? Holy cow that’s great-”

“-I’m gonna stop you right there” the elder detective paused as Carisi saw several pairs of eyes were watching him, “-I’m not adopting, Ken is! I told him you would be willing to look this stuff over, it’s your forte after all.” a couple of officers let out disappointed groans and went back to work.

Carisi felt himself beam with pride; his fellow officers were finally seeing his hard work as beneficial to them, trusting him enough to let him give his own educated examination of important legal documents.

“I can look it over, Mike and I haven’t caught another case yet, we’re waiting to hear back about Shane’s trial...so...let me get an interview room and I’ll see what I can do...” he flashed Fin a smile and managed to get the large chunk of documents over to interview room three.

Carisi sat the pile of documents down on the table and Fin walked in behind him, closing the door to give them some privacy.

“Hey about my outburst, sorry, sometimes I forget you guys aren’t as open as I am...how’s Munch doin’?” Carisi asked as he realized he needed to remind Fin that he wasn’t always a foghorn when it came to the personal lives on his friends.

“We’re good...so, anything in there that would bite Ken in the ass if he and Alejandro adopted this little guy from his mom?” the tone in Fin’s voice told him that he was nervous about his son adopting, but from what Rollins had mentioned about Ken, he seemed to be a pretty solid, outstanding young man.

Carisi let his eyes skim over the documents for a good ten minutes, flipping through each page, seeing if there were any legal technicalities that could be picked on by a lawyer later on down the road. After reading over them he felt he had an acceptable answer to give to Fin.

“Everything looks good, it’s an open adoption, those are great for kids, lets ‘em know their birth parents…I’m assuming this Christina will have some role in the kid’s life?”

Fin nodded his head.

“I don’t see any part that could come back and hurt your son or his partner, and, congrats! You’re gonna be a grandpa, you and John have to be excited, right?” Carisi grinned as a sly smile came to Fin’s face.

“We are-Munch is practically looking into a full retirement. Heh, imagine Munch with a kid, they’ll have the youngest conspiracy theorist in the world on their hands...but that will be grandpa Munch’s doin’.”

Carisi saw the happiness in Fin’s eyes and was flattered that Fin wanted to share this moment with him. He had wondered if Fin was ever going to open up to him and he was glad that he had.

“Well, that kid’s gonna know a lot of cops, and that ain’t a bad thing...” Carisi trailed off as he saw the change in Fin’s expression.

“Hey, speakin’ of a ton of cops, Rollins is head over heels planning a baby shower for Ken, so maybe you could swing by, ask your sister about what crazy fancy contraptions they’re usin’, Ken and Alejandro will be dying to know...next Friday?”

Carisi stacked the papers and gave them back to him, “Yeah, I’ll make sure to pick their brains by then, oh are you guys gonna have games, like uh, 'what’s the poop'?!”

Fin’s disturbed expression demanded Carisi explain himself.

“Relax it’s a game, my sisters have had some elaborate baby showers, so from your face I’m gonna assume that’s a no.”

Fin raised an eyebrow, “Good guess. Oh, and let Mike know that he can swing by too, it’ll look too weird if he isn’t invited, let the guy socialize with us somewhere besides a bar or on the job.”

“He’ll be thrilled to go, I’ll let him know you invited him-”

“-or he could just be your plus one?” Fin butted in as he took the papers and left Carisi alone by himself.

_Does he know?! Do they all know?!_ Carisi demanded himself to generate an explanation as he felt his phone chime. He glanced down at it and saw it was a text from Mike.

‘Jury’s back, I’m saving you a seat.’

Carisi swooped by his desk, snagged his jacket and then made his way out of the precinct.

-*-

Mike felt himself relax when he saw Carisi sneak into the court room and take a seat next to him. He noticed how the detective was out of breath, but didn’t try to focus on it as the judge began to speak.

“Members of the jury, how say you?” Judge Blight questioned as the foreperson stood up and opened the paper.

“We find the defendant, James Westfield, guilty of rape in the first degree.”

Mike looked at Barba, whose confidence was radiating from him as the defense attorney rolled her eyes at him, but he looked at Carisi who was happy in a more subdued manner.

“Great job detective, we wouldn’t have gotten Shane his justice if you hadn’t been so diligent about keeping Shane comfortable with us.” Mike praised the slim detective as he turned and looked at Mike.

“Fin is having a baby shower for his son Ken and his partner, Alejandro. He wanted me to invite you too. So, wanna go to a baby shower with me?” Carisi asked him as Mike felt a lump build up in his throat. He knew nothing about baby showers, was even more clueless about children then any other SVU detective, and that was the event Carisi wanted him to accompany him to first?

“I don’t think I’d be any good-” Mike started to explain as Shane came over to both of them and threw his lanky arms around Carisi, who hugged him tightly back.

“Thank you, thank you both so much!” Shane cried into Carisi’s shoulder, the weight of the case being lifted off the young man’s back.

“Hey, hey now, you keep on transitioning, and keep on tellin’ your story, okay?” Carisi softly encouraged Shane, who was being waited on by a girl in a blue dress, who waved at Mike.

“Shane, I think someone is waiting on you.” Mike informed the young man who wiped his face and looked at him, then at the girl.

“That’s Marla, I met her at a trans teen support group...I’ll leave you two, and detective Carisi?” Shane asked with an earnest look on his face.

“Yeah?”

Shane leaned over and whispered into Carisi’s ear, garnering a blush from his partner.

“Will do Shane, will do.” Carisi answered as he patted Shane’s shoulder and both of them watched Shane make his way over to Marla, who waved at them and then left with their young victim.

Mike and Carisi stood up and made their way out of the courthouse and on to the side walk, once again walking shoulder to shoulder in the cool afternoon wind.

After a minute of silence, Mike finally worked up his nerve to ask Carisi what Shane had told him.

“Oh that?” Carisi started as he smiled at Mike, “He said I should finally get around to asking you out, he saw how you were lookin’ at me, sarge.” Carisi tacked on a cheeky smile and Mike felt himself turn red.

“Guess I can’t fool anyone, so why try anymore? Carisi, I’ll go with you to that baby shower, I will be a loss as what to do, but I’ll go.” Mike stated as Carisi pulled him in for a kiss. The safety of Carisi’s embrace returned and Mike let his body go almost limp as Carisi’s soft lips pressed against his. He knew he was out in the open, no longer concealed by a dank and dirty alleyway, but he didn’t care, it felt perfect to him.

“Well, going to the shower is the second part, but the first? We’ve gotta find that little bundle of joy something no one else is gonna think of, so, how about later on tonight we go baby shower shopping, and try to figure us out some more, huh?” Carisi grinned as Mike and him started walking again, this time Mike felt comfortable resting his arm around Carisi’s waist.

_It all comes together...Fin was right._

-*-

Carisi looked at Mike’s confused face and stifled the urge to laugh. The chief’s son really had no clue what to do when it came to anything baby related. Every gadget and gizmo in the baby department of the department store was like a mystical relic to the stoic sergeant and it was humorous to him.

“You gonna be okay with this?” Carisi finally asked as he let out a small laugh that Mike noticed, which made him frown.

“Why are there fifty different types of cradles, you think the original design would work...right?” Mike scratched his head as Carisi snickered.

“Mike, I’m sorry, I guess with three sisters this stuff is all second nature to me...that one right there,” Carisi pointed to the box up on the top shelf, “that’s a cradle for a baby who climbs, that one, for a baby who needs more sunlight, each one has their own thing...maybe we should start with something more basic, easier for you to understand?”

“I, I guess...I just never thought I’d be having kids, never really felt the need to pay attention to it...I mean, my younger brother is seven years younger than me, never really felt the need to think about it.” Mike fidgeted with his hands and Carisi rubbed his back.

“Okay, so we need a gift, for each one of us...unless we’re gonna crash this thing with our relationship?” Carisi winked at Mike, who instantly blushed.

“Carisi, what are we?” Mike posed the question to him and Carisi had no response.

“I dunno...What do you want us to be?” Carisi leaned against the wall of heated baby diaper wipes. He was prepping for the worst, that Mike was regretting kissing him, opening up to him, but he saw the tentative look the sergeant gave him and felt a reason to hold on to hope.

“I want to get to know you better...believe it or not I really didn’t date much, my focus was always on school, then the military, then the academy, then impressing every boss I’ve ever had since they were in constant communication with my old man. I just never found time.”

Carisi grinned as he pulled Mike in for a peck on the cheek, “I wanna get to know you better too...I want to know what mystery hides under that muscular frame of yours.”

“Well, I think until we really know each other, let’s keep it under wraps...I don’t even know how I’m going to explain this to anyone...but I want to know you better...I feel so good when I’m with you.” Mike’s eyes pierced through his playful exterior and Carisi felt his heart melt.

“That’s an order, sarge...so, we’ll need two completely different gifts...how do you feel about heated baby wipes?” Carisi teased Mike, who looked completely confused.

“There are feelings about that?”

“Oh Mike, you have no idea, no idea...” Carisi answered as both men continued looking around the department, taking in each and every trinket they laid eyes one. After several minutes, Carisi found the soothing noise maker his sister Tina used when she was trying to Ferber-ize his niece and had to pick one up for Ken. He looked over at Mike who was still struggling to find the ideal gift.

“I didn’t think it would ever be this hard, no wonder it takes an hour to pick up diapers...” Mike stated as he looked over two boxes of kids toys. Carisi couldn’t help but grin, letting his dimples pop on to his face. It was adorable watching Mike fret over every possible gift. He knew that Mike was going to go home with a headache, but the sight of his boss mentally distraught over which toy to go with was cute. It really showed how Mike cared, even if he wasn’t the best at expressing it with words.

“Well...I think a practical gift would be the best, an everyday item that will help with raising the child...so...the black and white visual building blocks it is.” Mike turned around and looked at him with a satisfied expression on his face, and Carisi let out a laugh.

“What...what’s so funny?...is this a bad gift?” Mike worried as Carisi shook his head to let him know he wasn’t making a poor choice.

“No, Mike it’s a great gift...it’s just so plain, classic, it really reflects you in it as the gift giver...you’re practical, and you do care about the baby’s development. It’s cute.”

Mike looked down at the blocks, “Oh...so there’s too much me in it then? Maybe something more colorful...” Mike began to look at other choices.

Carisi walked over to him and gazed into his eyes, “It’s perfect, and this place is about to close.”

“Ah, I see...well, time to check out.”

Carisi nodded his head and both men made their way to the check out lane and made their respective purchases. The cashier, a young woman in her 20’s was openly flirting with Mike the whole time she rang him up, causing Carisi to get flustered. Even with the progressive Manhattan culture, he was still reluctant to call her out on it by making some close intimate gesture with Mike. If the sarge wanted them to keep it under wraps, it meant with everyone, even randoms. He was happy with how Mike didn’t engage her, making it clear his earlier comments were genuine. Carisi breathed a mental sigh of relief and they both made their way out of the store.

Once they were a good block away, he felt Mike’s arm link with his and a smile returned to his face.

“Sorry about that, I’m not good with flirts...” Mike softly answered him.

“I don’t buy that for a second, you’re fantastic with me.” Carisi teased back as Mike pulled him closer and smiled at him.

“You’re the first flirt I’ve had badger me, I guess I got lucky.”

“You sir, have no idea.” Carisi answered as he and Mike made their way down the road.

 


	9. Chapter 9

_That same morning, John had entered One Hogan Place on the way to his office, hoping his day would involve something a little more interesting than reviewing paperwork..._

“Hold the elevator!” someone called out to him.

John did as he was asked, and a lanky, blond younger man came bounding in, smiling and huffing from the exertion. “Thanks! Hey...it’s, I mean...you’re John Munch, right?”

“That’s right. ...Detective Carisi, isn’t it?” John asked as he extended a hand in greeting, knowing full well who the man was. “I’ve seen you around with ADA Barba.”

“That’s right. We have court this morning, actually. I’m just on my way to run a few things by the ADA first. And you can call me Sonny.”

“Nice to finally meet you, Sonny. I’ve heard good things about you from my old partner over there at SVU.”

“Really? Wow, that’s good to know. Though I think it’ll be a while before stories of my days there reach the levels of the Munch legends.”

They got off the elevator, John stepping off a floor early just so he could be nosy and walk Carisi over to Rafael’s office. “Perhaps, but one area I hear you already outshine me in is when it comes to culinary exploits. I’m a lousy cook, and you know, I wouldn’t mind some ideas for easy meals that will lessen my chances of burning down the kitchen.”

“The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach, right?”

John winked at that, just as Barba answered Sonny’s knocking at his office door, frowning at both of them.

“Well, I’ll leave you both to it. But here,” John handed Sonny his business card, “You have any recipes to share, email them my way. Or if you want to stop by some night and teach an old fart like me a few new tricks, give me a call.”

“I will! Thanks!”

-*-

Later that evening, Fin unlocked the door to his and John’s apartment, stepped inside and frowned. Something in the air smelled really good: garlicky and sweet at the same time, which made Fin glad he hadn’t grabbed a quick, greasy bite for dinner at work. But he was frowning because he heard banging around in the kitchen, which meant John had decided to cook. That usually spelled disaster, instead of making his stomach rumble in anticipation just from the aroma wafting through their place. He headed straight for the kitchen to investigate.

“Damn, what you makin’?” Fin asked, coming up behind John (once he gauged it was safe, no hot pans nor sharp utensils in hand), wrapping him in a hug and a kiss on the neck hello.

“Balsamic roasted tomato and garlic sauce for pasta. Got the recipe from Carisi after bemoaning my lack of cooking skills when I ran into him this morning. Or rather, from one of his sisters; he sent me the link to her food blog and this seemed like something even I couldn’t fuck up.”

“Smells delicious.”

“Then grab a pot and put some water on the stove while I get the salad ready.”

“Soon as I get a beer,” Fin replied, going to the fridge to get something cold to drink. End of the day, he needed a little time to relax before getting recruited into kitchen duty. “Guess you got home early tonight to be cookin’ dinner instead of ordering in.”

“Slow day at the DA’s, nothing but reviewing case files. You?”

“Not too bad. Think we finally caught a break in that rape case from last week. Idiot suspects tossed some DNA our way, now we just gotta wait to see if we get a match. Then maybe see if we can get one of ’em to crack and rat out the others, since our victim says she didn’t get a good enough look at her attackers to do a line-up.”

“You sure on that, or do you think she’s scared to identify them?”

Fin popped open his beer, took a drink and shrugged. “Hard to know for sure. We didn’t have no real leads at all until one of her friends came forward, gave us some info on the situation. Maybe if she knows it won’t just be her word against these punks, and that we can get the group of ’em locked up so they can’t go after her again...anyway. Enough about work.” That was the rule of their house: they got a few minutes each to vent about the office once they were home, but after that the job stayed at the job. Time off the clock was meant to be enjoyed as such.

“Indeed. Though it seems I’ve been recruited by your partner to help plan some kind of grandiose baby shower next Friday night.”

“Oh, Jesus. Rollins told me she wasn’t going to go all crazy with that.”

“Well she’s been blowing up my phone this afternoon and evening with ideas, as soon as she cleared the timing with your son and his husband. Her and I are going to go scout out a few venues this weekend to see what’ll work for a crowd likely to consist of rowdy cops, cranky lawyers, and your son and Alejandro’s friends.”

“Just make sure there’s alcohol involved. I don’t know if I can survive a baby shower without something stronger than iced tea to drink.” Fin got the pasta pot on the stove and went to the pantry to see what noodles were on hand. “Spaghetti or linguine?”

“Linguine, I think. Hey, did you get Carisi to look over the contract?”

“Yeah, and he said everything seems cool.”

“Good. Then maybe you’ll start to relax about the adoption.”

“I’m relaxed, I’m just—”

“—cautious. I know.” John gave him a knowing, smirking smile and took a sip from his glass of red wine. 

“And well on my way to earning that hundred bucks.”

“Excuse me?”

“Remember our bet? Double or nothin’? Pretty sure Carisi’s gonna bring mini-Dodds as his plus-one for the shower. Those two have been seriously up in each other’s business and personal space lately, and Carisi got all flustered when I suggested he take Mike as his date.”

“Because you’re trying to set them up, you sneaky bastard. I’m still going to need to see it with my own eyes before I believe it.”

“Well, you invite Barba and see who _he_ brings for a date, if anyone.”

“I did mention the shower before leaving work today. He looked about as thrilled at the idea as if I’d invited him to a night of March Madness at Hooters.”

“Face it, John, you just don’t have an eye for this kind of thing.”

“You're probably right. Look how many times I made a wrong pick for myself, let alone anyone else. Did you put salt in that water?”

“Yes.” The water was heating up, but it would be a few minutes before it reached a boil. Fin watched John getting their salad ingredients together, tearing the lettuce, washing some cherry tomatoes, and he quietly savored the simple domestic pleasure of it all. 

John finally caught him watching and gave him a puzzled look. “What?”

“Nothing. Just thinkin’.” He stepped closer to steal another kiss, this time a light one on the lips as his hand ran over John’s back. “Doesn’t matter how many times you made the wrong pick, you know. ’Cause in a way they all led to you to me.”

“I suppose that’s one way of looking at things.” John moved in for another kiss just as the oven buzzer went off. “Shit, my tomatoes...”

“They can wait. Feelin’ in the mood for a little appetizer before dinner.” Fin tried to pin John against the counter but he slipped loose to grab a pair of oven mitts, slapping Fin on the ass with one of them.

“Out of the oven first, so they don’t burn. _Then_ while the water’s on, we can see about that first course.”

 


	10. Chapter 10

Mike glanced at Carisi, who was sitting next to him in the dark movie theater. Both of them had decided to actually head out on a date early in the afternoon before going to the baby shower, continuing their test of romantic capability. He gently worked his arm around Carisi’s shoulders which elicited a smile from the younger detective. It was easier for him to show small gestures of affection when he didn’t feel like most of NYC was watching him. Even before dating Carisi, he had never had much luck with being the flirty guy in a room full of women, most of them found him physically attractive but didn’t want anything long term.

_Go figure, I find the one lanky Staten island detective who likes me for me and its got long term written all over it._ Mike teased himself as Carisi’s baby blues looked at him, as the slender fingers of his date gingerly squeezed his thigh.

“You’re gonna get all grabby during the best part? This is the moment where Rocky starts his training montage.” Mike joked as Carisi’s fingers slowly shifted up his thigh, moving closer to his groin. He shifted in his seat as Carisi’s white smile glinted against the light of the movie screen.

“Detective I had no idea that sports movies got you going...”

“It’s a little bit hard not to notice how alike you and Rocky are...did you have a secret movie career before going into law enforcement?”

Carisi turned so he was facing Mike instead of the movie screen. There were only a couple of people in the entire large theater but he sensed where Carisi was going to take this. His lover’s hands skillfully undid his belt buckle, without making a sound, and unbuttoned his slacks.

Mike felt himself tremble as Carisi got out of his seat and knelt in the small space between his legs and then unzipped his pants. He had never been treated this way by any person he had previously dated, but quickly nodded his head as Carisi took his member out of his boxers and began to tease him. Those pink lips were so warm and inviting, Mike bit his own lips as Carisi began to work his tongue and lips all the way down his shaft, effortlessly taking him all in.

His hands worked through Carisi’s coiffed hair and he held on to the back of his head as Carisi continued to please him. He felt his own orgasm build in the base of his penis and within a few minutes, silently climaxed into his lover’s mouth. A sudden panic struck him, he was unfamiliar with the protocol here, should he have signaled his climax and let Carisi dodge it? Before he could even begin to apologize, Carisi was tenderly cleaning him off with his own mouth and Mike smiled.

“I should have let you know when I was...” he whispered as Carisi tucked his member back into his pants and closed him back up, swiftly buckling his belt back together as he smiled at Mike.

“I don’t mind swallowing to be honest, but, I’m gonna need you to help me out here.” Carisi answered as he took hold of Mike’s hand and rested it on his groin. Mike felt the rock hard erection pressing against those gray slacks and grinned. He felt flattered he was able to turn on Carisi, a certain kind of pride hit him knowing he was able to arouse one of the most attractive detectives in all of NYPD.

“I guess its a good thing I’ve already seen this movie a few dozen times, huh?” he whispered into Carisi’s ear as he quickly undid the detective’s pants and began to slowly stroke his lover’s member. He saw Carisi close his eyes and Mike took the chance to nibble on the other man’s neck, which was no longer closed off by a collar and tie.

Hearing Carisi’s breathless moans as he moved under Mike’s touch almost got Mike rock hard again as he moved himself into position and returned the favor his lover gave him a few moments ago. He had never given a blow job in his entire life, but it felt natural and intuitive to him. Having the same hardware didn’t hurt as Mike slowly took in all of Carisi and moved his tongue up and down the vein on the bottom side of his penis.

He could feel Carisi’s hips buckle as those slender fingers ran through his hair without a care in the world, his lover’s member throbbing and soon he tasted a very salty fluid in his mouth as Carisi let out a small moan and collapsed his hips back into the theater seat.

_Guess I swallow too…_ Mike told himself as he took out a packet of tissues from his pocket and cleaned of Carisi before he redressed his lover and sat back in his seat.

Both men continued to watch the movie in a contented post orgasmic bliss, perfectly satiated by their passionate hijinks.

-*-

Being able to share an intimate moment with Mike in the movie theater solidified in Carisi’s mind that they were a couple, that, and Mike’s arm around his waist didn’t hurt either as they made their way to the subway to get to the shower on time. When Mike had mentioned to him that he didn’t ride the subway much, Carisi knew he was going to have to break him into that as well. For a guy who lived in Manhattan most of his life, it amused Carisi that Mike wasn’t as ‘city’ as he was. He was aware that the sergeant’s deployments and time spent away during college rubbed off on him which gave him an out of towner vibe and it was sweet to watch his lover figure out what train they needed to catch.

They stood next to each other, Mike holding the bag of gifts they had picked up from his place, as they sped over to the shower’s location, Ken and Alejandro’s apartment. Carisi knew that Fin had a son from a previous marriage and was happy for his fellow detective that he was able to reconnect with him. He knew far too many people who had family members who were gay and just tossed them aside. His own family really didn’t know about his preferences and he planned on keeping it that way until him and Mike were more open and comfortable with their relationship.

_Are we really a couple?_ Carisi glanced at Mike, and saw him looking at his shoes, trying not to make any eye contact with another soul.

“Hey.” Carisi softly asked Mike as he nudged his arm, causing the other man to spring back to life from his own mind, “So...we had that date and everything, um...I mean, are we?”

Carisi felt Mike’s arm pull him a bit closer, those hazel eyes looking at him and he smiled.

“Sonny,” Mike began, making Carisi’s heart beat by using the name he longed to hear from his lover’s lips, “This afternoon has been such an eye opener, I’ve explored aspects of myself I didn’t even think I had...I don’t want to go through these steps with another person, I’ve already gone through them with you and I want to only move forward with you, so yes...if you’ll have me Sonny Carisi, I’d like to be with you.”

The blush on Mike’s face melted Carisi’s heart as he pulled Mike right against him and they kissed. A few passengers noticed and most of them cheered, including a group of nuns, which surprised Carisi, but one heckler just had to make himself aware.

A younger guy, Carisi guessed around 21 or so, marched over towards them and started to swing at them, when Mike took hold of his arm and put him into a lock hold. The nuns began to clap, impressed by the sergeant’s skills, and Mike leaned his mouth towards the young man’s ear.

“I would strongly encourage you not to swing at two police officers because my boyfriend and I do not have the time to haul you into the closest precinct, explain your homophobia, charge you with assaulting a cop, and then make it to the baby shower we have at a friend’s in about twenty minutes. I’m sure you’re a reasonable guy, so how about I let you go and you just take a seat, ideally not in sight of us, so I can give my boyfriend a kiss or two, okay?”

The young man shook his head yes, bright red with embarrassment, and Mike looked at Carisi.

“Should I let him go, dear?” Mike winked at him as Carisi felt his heart beat out of his chest. It was the most romantic gesture that any person had ever done for him.

“I think its the only way we’re gonna make it to the shower, sweetheart.” Carisi sassed back as Mike let the guy out of the hold and they both watched him scamper away as the nuns began to clap again.

Mike looked at the nuns, “Sorry to bother you ladies with that.” he got out as several of the nuns, at least in their mid 70’s smiled and swooned.

Carisi felt incredibly lucky that Mike was in his life, in this capacity. He rested his head on Mike’s shoulder and they continued their trip in an intimate silence.

-*-

Both men stood outside of the shower entrance and Mike handed Sonny his present from the bag. Fighting off the jerk on the subway, along with announcing to each other they were dating filled him with a joy he didn’t think he’d feel again. The knowledge that he was able to attract Sonny to him, the actual him, was intoxicating.

“Well, it’s now or never I suppose,” Mike began as Sonny rested his hand on his.

“Mike, we’ve got this...heh, I can’t believe a baby shower has you worried, but protecting me on a subway is nothing...” Sonny teased him as Mike took a moment to look the other way.

“Hey, I didn’t mean to...” Sonny started, but Mike butted in.

“You aren’t, with that guy he was a nameless jerk, but in here, we work with almost all of these people...they know us...but I’m here with you and let them connect the dots as they fall, I guess.” he felt Sonny’s hand rub his back and let out one last tense filled sigh.

“C’mon, we’ll have fun.” Sonny answered as he rang he buzzer and the door quickly opened. 


	11. Chapter 11

“I’m so glad Ken and Alejandro agreed to letting us host the shower here,” Amanda said as she fussed with the last minute decorations. “This is so much nicer and cozier than having it in a restaurant or hotel room.”

“A lot cheaper, too,” John agreed. They had checked out a number of different venues but everything they thought would work for their diverse crowd of guests was either too small, too big, too expensive or already booked on such short notice. That was when Ken had suggested they just make it a house party since they should have room for everyone at their place. It also felt like a perfect way to welcome their soon-to-be-arriving child into what would be his home. “Plus, I get to play bartender,” John continued. “I’ve told you before about the bar I used to own in Baltimore, haven’t I?”

“Many, many times.” Amanda smiled to keep from rolling her eyes at the frequently-told story.

“I still miss those days...as much of a pain in the rear as running a bar could be. I used to like bartending on the weekends when I didn’t have to deal with a homicide case, or after work on a slow night. You know, tending bar is a great way to study and learn all about human psychology. It’s amazing how people will open up to a bartender.”

“Put enough alcohol in anyone and they’ll spill their deepest secrets.”

“Or they just want the company and the ear of a nonjudgemental stranger.”

John had taken the day off so he could set up in the boys’ kitchen for the party. He’d re-arranged their breakfast bar, stocking it with the soda, beer, wine and spirits he’d ordered up the previous weekend (that bartending experience coming in handy once more). They had several coolers full of ice lined up, plenty of disposable glassware, and John was more than ready for the night ahead. Meanwhile Amanda had taken care of getting a cake along with several trays of small bites and appetizers, cheeses and other snacks. Arriving at the apartment that afternoon had also been an unexpected _huge_ delivery of cookies and cannolis, from an Italian bakery on Arthur Avenue. Turned out those sweet treats had been been arranged by Carisi, and as an extra gift from everyone at the 16th whom he’d rounded up to chip in.

“I still can’t believe Sonny did that. We’re going to be eating cannolis for days!” Amanda said.

“Are you kidding? You know how cops descend on free food. I’ll lay you any money bet there won’t be a crumb left before the night is over.” In fact John took a break from his preparations to grab one of the cannolis before they all disappeared. “So did I hear that you and Fin closed that Chinatown rape case this week?”

“Yeah, we did. The DNA we got from two of the suspects ended up being a match, so we brought them in for questioning. One of the boys didn’t want to talk, but the other was nervous since he already had a record for possession and petty theft. So we got him to spill in exchange for a reduced sentence. Turns out the three buddies of the girl’s ex-boyfriend? Recorded the assault on video so they could show him how they messed her up on his orders. The video was...pretty rough, and enough to identify the third party even without a line-up. I don’t even think even the biggest scumbag defense attorney out there is going to be able to argue it was consensual with that video in evidence.”

“I’m sure they’ll try, they usually do.”

They heard the front door being unlocked and in came Ken, Alejandro, Fin and Christina. “Hey guys, wow...” Ken trailed off, taking in all of the work John and Amanda had done while they were out. Fin had wanted to take the boys for an actual light dinner before the shower, where he’d have the chance to spend a little private time with Christina for the first time. “This is amazing.”

“At least you didn’t say frightening. Hopefully the place won’t be too trashed by the time the night is over,” John said.

“This is a baby shower, John. Not a frat party.”Fin gave John a quick kiss hello, and then Ken and Alejandro came over, both looking rather dazed and amazed.

“John, we can’t thank you enough for the gift from you and dad,” Ken said, taking him in a hug.

“You are both very welcome. Hopefully it will go at least a little way toward getting the young one off to a good start.” That was the other reason Fin had wanted to take them out to dinner first: to give them the check he and John had written out to help with the baby’s expenses, anything and everything they might need beyond what they might receive at the shower tonight.

“Is there anything I can do to help?” Christina said to Amanda.

“Nothing at all, girlfriend. Sit down, relax, and let me have Munch fix you his best virgin cocktail.”

“How about a blackberry and lemon fizz?” John suggested. “A non-alcoholic version of what used to be one of my specialties at the Waterfront.”

“Make it two,” Amanda replied. The buzzer rang as John got to work, and as the boys were still hanging their coats and getting settled in. “Oh lord, it sounds like the guests are starting to arrive. Fin, you want to get some music going?”

“Sure thing. Got John on the bar, so I don’t mind being d.j.”

“Anything we can do?” Alejandro asked.

“Relax. Enjoy yourself,” Amanda insisted with a smile. “Tonight is your night, so don’t you dare try to help with anything. We’ve got it covered.”

-*-

“Are you sure this is a good idea?”

“What do you mean, Ed?”

“I mean, you and me, here. In particular _me_ coming as your date tonight. I know I’m not exactly a favorite person to a lot of your colleagues past and present at SVU.”

Olivia hooked her arm into the crook of Ed’s elbow and leaned in a little closer as they walked from the subway to Ken and Alejandro’s apartment. “My friends and colleagues are going to have to find out we’re together at some point, and it doesn’t need to be an issue. In fact I’m pretty sure a few of them know or suspect already.”

“True. I have to admit, this whole thing is a bit...peculiar for a baby shower, isn’t it? I thought those were usually girly tea-time things with cupcakes, lemonade, and weird games.”

“Well, we’re not exactly talking about your typical family situation here. But these are my friends, their close family and loved ones. And it’s maybe a different sort of family than the kind you’ve known, but it doesn’t make it any less special or important.”

“I realize that, Olivia. I’m not criticizing.”

“I know you’re not, or else your ass never would have made it across the front door of my apartment...let alone into my bedroom.” She paused to halt him for a kiss. “You’ll do fine. And I think maybe you’ll come to see some of my squad in a different light.”

“Don’t frighten me.”

She laughed, punching him in the arm before continuing on their way.

-*-

“Remind me again how you talked me into coming to this.”

“Because I need someone to help me survive the horrors that await this evening,” Rafael said to Rita, as he helped her out of the Uber car. “That, and I was promised there will be alcohol and plenty of it.”

“Hopefully _good_ alcohol, because surviving a baby shower on cheap vodka and wine coolers is _not_ my idea of a grand evening on the town.”

“Munch said he’s stocking the bar.”

“Is that a good or bad thing?”

Rafael shrugged and looked at Rita haplessly. “I suppose there’s only one way we’ll find out.”

“Just promise me that if anyone starts rounding up people to play any game tonight with the word ‘poop’ in the title, we are out of here. And you’re buying me dinner...for the rest of this month.”

“I think I’ll be in therapy.”

-*-

About a half-hour after the first guests arrived, the party was quickly heading into full swing. Friends of Ken and Alejandro were arriving in a steady stream and most of the 16th was there now, too—in fact the last two of Olivia’s current squad had just stepped inside to join the festivities.

“Hey, Carisi, Sergeant,” Amanda greeted them. She’d taken over door duties now that food had all been arranged.

“We’re off duty. Maybe...you could try calling me Mike for the evening?” Dodds said shyly, with a small smile.

“Sorry, Mike.” She smiled in return, but looked like she was going to have a little difficulty dropping protocol entirely. “Come on in. And seriously, Carisi, that was so nice of you to get the cannolis and the cookies. You didn’t have to do that!”

“Maybe not, but I don’t see anyone complaining!”

“Are you kidding? Everyone loves a little Italian sweet stuff.”

“That’s the truth,” Mike said quietly in response, leaning a little closer to Sonny so his words could be heard over the din of the crowd. Sonny turned bright red and immediately said, “Hey, so...where do we leave our gifts for the little one?”

“Gift table’s over here. Come on. Have either of you met Ken and Alejandro before?” Both men shook their heads. “I’ll make introductions as Fin’s...kind of busy at the moment. Then we’ll see about getting you both something to drink.”

-*-

Fin was indeed otherwise occupied at the moment: talking to his ex-wife Teresa.

“This was a really nice thing your friends arranged for our son and Alejandro,” she said to him. “And for Christina. She seems like a very nice young girl.”

“Yeah, she does. Tough situation for her, but looks like she knows the choice she’s making is the right one. And keeping it open so she’ll have contact with the child...I hope that works out for everyone.”

“Things have certainly changed since, well...” Teresa left the rest of her thought unspoken; Fin didn’t need her to say it to understand.

“Anyway,” Fin sighed, “it’s John and Amanda who did all the work tonight. Rest of us are just along for the ride.”

“Another round for you both?” John came up on the two of them, offering a fresh glass of wine to Teresa and another rum and coke for Fin. “I think the present opening is about to commence shortly.”

“Thank you,” Teresa took her drink and Fin also his own. “John, stay for a moment, I wanted to say something to the both of you.”

Fin and John exchanged brief glances, then John shrugged, standing close to Fin. Of course by now Teresa was aware of their relationship, had been for some years and it hadn’t exactly made things any less tense between her and Fin. “I just wanted to say, I know we’ve had our...difficulties in the past. But I hope we can all work together to help Ken and Alejandro now, be good to them and to each other, if we can.”

“I hope so too, Teresa,” John said, putting an arm around Fin’s shoulders and urging him, “We both do, don’t we, Fin?”

“Yeah. Of course.” At that moment, however, Fin had become rather more occupied by the recent arrival of two more guests. “Hey, John, check it out. Look who’s just shown up...and it seems like they showed up together.”

John followed Fin’s gaze and his eyes went wide. “Carisi.”

“...And Sergeant Dodds.” Fin said with a grin. Amanda had led them over to where Ken and Alejandro were sitting with their friends on the living room sofa. Fin noticed that, as introductions were being made, Carisi placed his hand on Dodds’ shoulder in a gesture not so different from the embrace he currently was sharing with John. And at that, Dodds turned to look at Carisi with a smile, the kind of smile that could only be interpreted as meaning one thing.

“I _told_ you so!” Fin said to John. “Looks like I’m collecting on that bet, like I said I would.”

“Son of a bitch.”

“Should I know who that is?” Teresa asked.

“Two of my coworkers at the 16th these days,” Fin explained. “Who sure look like they’re a brand new couple to me.”

“I see. Is _everyone_ in your department gay?”

Fin looked to where Olivia and Ed were sitting together closely, him brushing his hand through her hair while she chatted with some of the boys’ friends. “Not everyone, no. But it does seem like somethin’ must be in the water ’round there—no, don’t say it,” Fin said, turning quickly to silence John before he launched into his theory about chemicals the public water system of New York City.

John pouted and walked away, sulking, to go back to his bartending duties.

-*-

“I’m gonna be a grandfather.”

“Yes. Yes, you are.”

“Grandpa Fin.”

“And grandpa John. Face it, my dear.” John propped his elbows on the bar counter and leaned across to meet Fin’s bleary eyes. “We’ve officially crossed the threshold into cranky old bastard territory.”

“Shit.”

Late into the evening and the party was still going strong: presents were long since opened, thank you’s and heartfelt best wishes to the parents-to-be made, cake dished out and now the time had come to groove to some music, or simply chill. As Amanda had promised, and even with her elaborate planning, the night had turned into far from your typical baby shower—which seemed to be why so many were sticking around and having a good time. Ed and Olivia could be seen canoodling in one corner, Alejandro and Ken’s friends had decided to teach Mike and Sonny some new moves now that a dance floor had been cleared, Amanda was giving the fathers-to-be parenting tips, and all the while Rita and Rafael cowered together in a quiet corner of the room with a bucket of ice and a bottle of Glenmorangie.

The only game Amanda had set up for guests to play was Baby Bottle Bowling, in the hallway leading to the bedrooms. The game had grown significantly more interesting and hilarious to watch the more inebriated guests became. At least that had been the case until someone had tried drinking out of one of the bottles, at which point a winner had been quickly declared and play-time ended.

“You shouldn’t be looking so glum, Fin. You won that damn bet about Carisi. And as far as I’m concerned, you’re going to be the sexiest grandfather in all of the five boroughs of New York City.”

“You’re just sayin’ that to make me feel better.”

“And I should cut you off because you turn into a maudlin drunk after a few too many.” John turned his attention to one of Ken’s neighbors, who’d been invited to join the party after first coming over to complain about the noise. Now he was three gin and tonics deep and feeling very little pain.

“Hey, great party, guys.”

“Thanks for your patience and understanding tonight.”

“No problem at all. You ever available to work other parties? I’ve got a retirement shindig to plan for my dad soon.”

John gave him one of his business cards and said, “Call me anytime.”

The man’s drink refreshed, John turned his attention back to Fin, who was still staring sullenly into the bottom of his glass. John rolled his eyes at no one in particular, but suddenly had a wicked idea about how to cheer up his glum companion. Surely he could take a short break from bartending duties; at this point people could fend for their own drinks for a little while.

“Come on,” he said, walking around the other side of the breakfast bar and grabbing Fin’s hand, pulling him off the bar stool.

“What now?”

“I need to use the bathroom.”

“Can’t you go on your own?”

“Of course,” John led him through the crowd of revelers to the bathroom, closed the door and turned the lock. “But I can’t do _this_ on my own.”

He pressed Fin against the closed door and gave him a heavy, boozy kiss. After a moment’s surprise Fin positively melted against John’s body and lips, wrapping his arms around his lover and responding eagerly. Fin wasn’t just a maudlin drunk; he could be an incredibly horny one, too—with a little encouragement. John pressed harder against him, grinding, until Fin moaned against his mouth.

“John...what’re you...” he got out between kisses.

“Proving how much you still turn me on.” John’s hand went for Fin’s waist, his pants, fumbling around until he found the zipper. “Every day. Doesn’t matter if we’re older, if we’re fucking _ancient_ , I’ll always want you and need you.”

His hands made quick work of Fin’s pants as he went for another kiss, determined to see how fast he could get his lover to come just from the well-practiced administrations of his hand—and more of these deep soul kisses. Fin followed his lead and started to undo John’s pants in return. It would be far from the first time they stole a quickie somewhere “inappropriate”, although it had been a few more years than John cared to think about. Maybe the last time he’d filled in for Cragen while the captain was off on vacation, and John had his office all to himself...

Ah, but Fin suddenly had a grip on John’s stiffening cock and out went any daydreaming about the past. Not when he had Fin making him feel so good right here and in this moment. He’d been half-hard already, soon as the idea had taken shape in his brain, and now he was rapidly on his way to full arousal.

“That’s it, _fuck_...” John groaned, burying his head against Fin’s shoulder to keep from making too much noise. Even with the music and the crowd outside, he didn’t want to make it _too_ obvious what they were up to. Of course that encouraged him to take a nibble on that delectable neck, which got Fin swearing and jerking John off even harder. John quieted him with another kiss and went back to loving the things Fin was doing to him with that warm, expert hand.

Excitement at the risk of possible discovery clearly had them both worked up. “Come for me...soon...or else someone’s gonna be pounding at the door,” John whispered harshly, in a rough tone of voice he knew did things to Fin. Sure enough, he could almost immediately feel Fin getting close, and he debated dropping to his knees quickly to make sure they didn’t leave a mess behind. But his own body’s intense response to Fin’s stimulation didn’t give him the chance, as he could feel his orgasm coming over him just as Fin exploded in his hand.

“God _damn_ ,” Fin sighed, slumping back against the wall. John grabbed for some toilet paper to try to clean up their respective messes while Fin seemed too dazed—and drunk—to care at the moment.

“Come on, lover boy, make yourself decent for the party again.”

“Party? Oh. Right.”

“Don’t you go all post-coital comatose on me yet.” This was the problem with Fin, sometimes: after a good orgasm he usually wanted to nap, whereas John often felt revved up and more energetic than before. He made sure Fin had his pants back up and did the same for himself, washing his hands real good and flushing the toilet a few times—if only for cover before they walked out. He could always claim Fin had a little too much to drink, hence the need for assistance to the bathroom.

Before John opened the door, however, he made sure he had Fin’s gaze one more time, kissed him lovingly and grinned. Fin smiled back, a _thank you_ in his eyes that didn’t need to be spoken. Yes, they were older now, and time stopped for no one, not even the wickedly in love. But time also healed, and brought people together in unexpected ways. The crowd of disparate yet happy revelers in this apartment tonight certainly proved that, and in a way, perhaps, it felt like the best of times of their lives were only just beginning.

 


	12. Chapter 12

Carisi glanced over at Mike’s desk. It was well past noon and with their lighter work schedule these last few weeks, they had a few chances to sneak away from work and grab a bite to eat. He looked up and saw the sergeant straighten his tie against his chest and found away to push back the devious though he had. Ever since the baby shower and arriving together, he felt the vibe towards their partnership change, but the only person who had flat out asked was Amanda, and she was completely supportive and moderately jealous of Carisi’s union with Mike.

He reached for his phone and shot Mike a quick text, ‘Lunch?’ which was almost immediately answered from his love with, ‘of course :D’. Carisi gave him a wink from his desk and he gathered up his coat and scarf, giving the illusion that he was taking a solo lunch today. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Amanda raise an eyebrow but then smile at him as he walked out of the precinct and waited for Mike.

Once Mike met him outside, he gave him a quick peck on the lips and grinned to himself.

“What has you going today, detective?” Mike cheekily asked him as Carisi linked arms with him and they walked against the cool breeze. He loved feeling Mike pull him close and smiled.

“Seein’ you in that suit for starters, but also knowing that I get what’s underneath it all to myself.”

Carisi saw the blush form on his lover’s cheeks, kissed him again and both men continued walking in a peaceful silence as they made their way to their new lunch spot.

-*-

Mike loved the look that Carisi gave him from his desk on the other side of the precinct every morning, but he loved more than that the sensation of holding Carisi’s slim, whippet like frame against his own. Since the baby shower Mike felt an ease whenever he was with Carisi; there were no expectations that went above and beyond the usual in a relationship, yet Mike found himself willingly doing any gesture if it meant keeping Carisi happy. They had baby sat for Rollins together a few times and he found out that he wouldn’t be the absolute worst at being a father, but such a step was eons away for them, he still had to figure out how he was going to come out of the closet, and then bring Carisi over to his father’s place for dinner, assuming his father didn’t go thermonuclear on him first.

Carisi’s eyes were on him as they walked into the diner and quickly they were situated in their usual booth by the hostess instead of their usual waitress, Jeannie.

“Oh thank goodness it’s you too...sorry about the wait for me, I guess I’m popular with you couples, huh?” she sassed at them as she hurried down the small diner hallway. Carisi smiled and Mike found a way to join in on her observations.

“Other couples, like us?” He pressed her playfully as she flipped over the coffee mugs and began to pour coffee for them.

“Oh my first couple, two older farts down the way, Fin and John, been coming here on Tuesdays since God knows when...I swear, I could have gone back to night school on how much they eat here. At least one of them is here three to four times a week, but Tuesday afternoons are their lunch date. It’s such a sweet old gay guy couple thing, I love it, but don’t let John know that, he gets cranky when I get all mushy about their love.” Jeannie smiled and gave them a few moments to look over the menu.

Mike looked up and saw Fin with John looking at him and Carisi.

_Well no point in even thinking about hiding us now...they’d be able to spot a couple from three hundred yards away._ Mike told himself as Carisi waved them over to their booth.

“Sonny, they just want their own-” Mike started to softly protest but John and Fin had picked up their coffee mugs and canoodled their way into the booth, with Fin next to Mike himself and Munch squeezing in next to Carisi. He saw how much Munch and Carisi looked alike and contemplated telling Sonny about it later, but thought better of it.

“Want their own what sergeant?” Munch asked as he looked over this glasses at him.

“Um...nothing, stray thought, that’s all.” Mike got out as Sonny reached over and rested his hand on top of his own, getting a look from Fin.

“You still owe me, Munch.” Fin teased as Munch sat down his coffee mug and proceed to cross his arms over his chest. Mike could feel Munch digging around his head for a witty comeback, but the softness around the older sergeant’s eyes evidenced another train of thought.

“This is one bet I’m okay with loosing, detective.” Munch began, “Let me just say that for the record, yes, we did bet on you two getting together, and while I will find the means to one day pay back my sassier half-”

“-wait, what’s this about one day?!” Fin butted in, but Mike saw how Munch’s glance silenced Fin.

“-like I said, sassier, right? But, while we were placing bets, we both came to the realization that we aren’t the only gay couple in SVU, you two make a cute yet odd duo...” Munch’s eyes analyzed Mike’s body and instinctively Carisi laced his fingers with Mike’s.

“Odd...Munch, stop it with that, we’re the odd ones, these two could be on the cover of GQ and no one would think anything of it...what my more Jewish half is getting at is, just be yourselves. All that hiding does nothing for any of us in the long run, that and it’s damn foolish, everyone already knows you two are an item. Heck, Amanda was pretty ticked off that you two were dating each other, and I know Barba is nursing a hangover from pity drinking himself over you Carisi, but...seriously, just be happy.”

“Yes,” Munch chimed in, “it’s the best advice two yentas could ever give a gentile duo like yourselves. Enjoy your time together, and sergeant Dodds?”

“Um, yes?” Mike pulled himself out of the peaceful head space holding on to Carisi’s hand put him in.

“For the love of your God, come out to your old man, would you? I had to go to some ghastly police gala thing, and all he could talk about was trying to find you a wife...my internal witty gay man self died a bit for you.”

Mike looked down, “Yeah, about that...it’s gonna-”

Munch sighed, “-well it’s gonna be hard, and chances are he’ll be an asshole, sorry, your dad is an ass, but he shows promise with not being the worst all the time.”

Mike glanced at Carisi and saw his lover’s blue eyes shine in sentiment with Munch’s observations.

“I will...I promise, I can’t picture a life without him.” Mike boldly stated as Carisi’s face lit up.

Fin chuckled, “That’s how I used to feel about this old ass, now he just owes me money, that’s the real motivation.” he joked as Munch put his hand to his chest in faux hurt.

“Am I just some meal ticket to you?!” Munch gasped as their waitress came back and took their order, left them, and Mike heard their voices drift away as he leaned over the table and gave Sonny a soft, lingering kiss.

_I finally get to have all of this._

-*-

Carisi heard the buzzing of Mike’s phone and he felt Mike’s body pull away from his own, knowing all well that his lover was reluctant to get it.

‘H-hello?” Mike’s voice asked as Carisi heard how groggy it was. It was 2 am and no one ever called this late unless it was Benson at work, but he knew that she’d try Fin before giving Mike a call.

Carisi felt Mike’s body sit up and he decided to listen in on his lover’s conversation instead of getting up and draping himself against Mike’s form.

“Yeah, yeah Dad, everything is going well with PT, have you been out with the other chiefs this evening? No, no Dad I know you can drink whenever you want, you were never shy about making that crystal clear to me as a kid.”

Mike sighed and Carisi felt bad for his lover. He thought back to what Munch had said to Mike earlier during lunch. He knew better than to doubt an older gay man’s coming out experience, but he really wished that the previous generation of gay men could empathize with his own generation’s issues on the matter.

“D-dad, don’t hang up...there’s something I need to say...”

The pregnant pause hung in the room as Carisi heard Mike’s father groaning on and on about how much of a sensitive wuss Mike was. He could feel his hands becoming fists, the desire to leap out of bed, find Chief Dodds and wail on him for being such an ass, but what he heard next stopped his mind completely.

“I know it’s late, but I’ve been laying in bed, thinking about how to say this to you, but...I’m gay and I’ve been seeing a really great guy these last few months...so, I’m gonna get back to sleeping next to him, goodnight.” Mike ended the call, rested his phone on his nightstand and wrapped his arms around Carisi.

“I know you’re up Sonny.” Mike whispered in his ear and Carisi couldn’t subdue the mega-watt smile on his face.

“Goodnight, Sonny.” Mike said as he nuzzled Carisi’s neck and spooned against him.

_I finally found you and I get to keep you._

 

The end.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We hope you enjoyed this story, which was a great deal of fun to write together! If you're interested, there's a soundtrack (by sidewinder) to go with the fic which you can listen to at [8tracks.com](http://8tracks.com/sockii/the-bet).

**Author's Note:**

> For the backstory of John, Fin and that fateful roadtrip to Canda, please see sidewinder's story [The Tipping Point](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6197191) which takes place in this same "universe".


End file.
